deterioration of the fight or flight response

On travel

2012-01-10T10:59:00.000-05:00

Although my heart desires travelling into the unknown, I haven't been to very many different places. Spring break trips with a college ministry group took me and friends to Florida, West Virginia and Texas. Dallas, Texas, I would say, is the most "different" place (from homestate PA) I've seen. Excursions to Maine have been a part of almost every summer in my teen to adult life.

This year, I'm looking forward to seeing the Dominican Republic, possibly San Antonio, and Maine, once again. I'd love to add in more adventures, though; to see more of this country than I've considered. I feel a call to the West: California, Washington, Colorado, Oregon... I'd love to make it to those places someday soon! To see canyons, deserts, redwood forests and the Pacific ocean would add so much to my personal experience of the world.

A recent aquisition of mine: a Passport. Never had owned one before. It's a ticket to anywhere in the world, so long as it's backed by funding for a plane ticket. How does one travel internationally on a small budget?

Perhaps I can finally expand my travels to, finally, the Great White North. :o)

2012-01-06T15:00:00.003-05:00

Weddings comprised most of the excitement of 2011. My own eleven-month engagement took prime focus for most of the year, in addition to serving as a bridesmaid (or rather, matron?) for dear friend Bridget in November and enjoying Adam & Kate's wedding on 12/30/2011. 2012 will bring high school friend Lauren's wedding in March, Monica's Hawaiian elopement in May and Jake's wedding in June (with Greg serving as Best Man), as well as plans for my sister Sarah's wedding to take place on 4/13/2013.

Is this the time of life during which a lot of folks wed, naturally? Mid-twenties seems to be all the rage for matrimony, nowadays. However, our parents' generation may have exchanged their vows from age 19 to 30. Do young people nowadays just consider 24-27 to be the best time to settle down with someone?

In the news

2012-01-04T11:22:00.000-05:00

Truthfully, I can say that I'm "out of the loop." Folks around me discuss the latest episode of this-or-that prime time program, the best new video games, news stories, the "Occupy" movement, final scores... and my continually repeating response is, "what's that?"

My husband and I do not own a television. This is partly because of the decision we made upon hearing that it's beneficial to avoid mindless entertainment during the first year of marriage (when you can talk to each other instead), and partly because neither of us owned the television at our prior residences. Cable is one bill for which we don't pay, and I like that it fits into the ideal of "cheap living." We also don't subscribe to the internet at home... and we don't have those intellectual mobile phones everyone loves.

Additionally, we haven't subscribed to any newspapers... yet. We may look into receiving the Sunday Inquirer, since there's no local news here worth reading.

We are living in ignorance... but is it bliss? I don't toss and turn at night, reviewing national economic problems in my mind. There is less to worry about, a freedom from concerns about others' situations... but are we missing out, not knowing what's happening in the world at large? Are we avoiding hearing about conflicts to which we could possibly lend a hand?

Should we re-connect?

The end of 2011 is nigh...

2011-12-31T12:13:00.000-05:00

Most of 2011 I spent working and preparing for marriage. Having a single wedding day requires much work to be done beforehand! It's just amazing how the weight of planning and preparation laid on our backs for most of the year, and evaporated within 24 hours, when it came. Settling into married life has been interesting... with much joy and a few arguments along the way.

Work has been... work: pumping out shots of organic, fairly traded espresso for the masses who don't care much about coffee's origins at all. I've undertaken quite a bit of the marketing "department" at the shop, which is at least a miniscule outlet for creativity. Besides that, it's making sandwiches, filling sacks with coffee beans, cooking bacon and whipping up 20 pounds of hummus at a time.

When do I figure out what I really want to do with my life?? 2012?

2011-08-19T23:39:00.003-04:00

I'm getting married in three weeks!

2011-08-19T23:39:00.001-04:00

I'm getting married in three weeks!

Farmin' food

2011-06-27T14:31:00.000-04:00

There's a lovely, new gallery in Kutztown called The Independent Gallery and Co-op. They host all sorts of different events, like Storytime for toddlers, Market Mondays (when local famers & bakers bring in their goods), open mic evenings, yoga classes, chess club for kids and of course, art shows. It's right next door to where I work, so I see that there's a LOT going on, almost all the time. After work today, I stopped in (Market Monday!) to pick up some produce, and of course I was enticed into purchasing a loaf of French bread. Ready to leave, food in hand, the ladies there and I realized I looked like I was walking in from a movie set, since I was holding a baguette and a bunch of carrots with an enormous bunch of greens atop. How amusing!!

Well, I was rather enthralled that they had beets available today. I'm totally excited to make some Borscht; it's the best soup ever! Perhaps I'll stop by the meat market next for some beef (or chicken!) Who knows what I'll receive from my CSA tomorrow!

Yes, Greg and I decided to buy into a CSA share for the season. Our farmer is a young man I worked with last summer, and he's been doing wonderfully this year. So far, we've received from him shell peas, snow peas, spring onions, garlic scapes, chard, kohlrabi, mustard greens, radishes, varieties of lettuce and several herbs (thyme, Italian parsley, etc). We've been eating PLENTY of delicious stir-fry dishes lately. It's been amazing seeing the "seasonal" difference, merely week-to-week, in what types of vegetables have been harvested. Some plants have a very long season, some (like strawberries) are ripe only for a few weeks. Greg and I have been receiving all this fresh produce with much gratitude and appreciation for the farming life.

How refreshing it is to see so much local agriculture happening! New this year in Kutztown is the Main Street Growers' Market, which happens on Thursday afternoons from 3:00 to 7:00 pm. Local farmers simply set up with their goods on folding tables in the little alley by Trinity Lutheran Church. I purchased some delicious blueberries there last week, from Weavers' Orchard. Berks County is such an amazing place! Despite the pork-enriched diet of many of the locals, organic vegetable farms seem to be thriving. Next week, the Kutztown Folk Festival will occur: a great carnival dedicated to quilting, Hex signs and sausage sandwiches. Yes, we're living in a land of bacon & baloney here in Berks, but amidst the lard and tripe arise fresh, organic veggies. I'm quite excited about it, and very glad to see so many new farms & CSAs popping up across the map. Rock on, farmers!!

Wedding!

2011-03-04T09:19:00.000-05:00

Soooo... I got a wedding dress! I will probably post a photo of it soon, as I'm sure Greg will never read this blog. :o) To my surprise, I'm finding that Mom adheres to all sorts of wedding traditions and superstitions. "There will be no face-smashing of cake. Each couple whom we saw do that at their wedding has been divorced." Oh my! She has also expressed the necessity of the "something old, new, borrowed, blue" tradition. I read in a wedding magazine that the poem ends, "And a tupence in her shoe." How am I to come across a tupence? Will an American penny get the job done? Furthermore, I had been looking up stock photos of wedding gowns online, which I showed Greg to ask his opinion. Boy, did I get a chastisement for that! Even the samples!! However, I will obey the, as we call her, Incident Commander.

Engagement

2011-01-15T09:27:00.000-05:00

Greg and I are finally engaged, after having been a'courtin' for the past three years. Yay!

Family celebrations ensued at the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, with many toasts and much story-telling and support from everyone. I think the wedding will be a great, fun party with all these excited family members, plus good friends from home, summer camp, church and college. We are very excited!

Even more exciting is the fact that we have a place booked. Yes! In the most difficult month to find an available venue, my parents succeeded in nabbing a catering place with a beautiful hall, great yard with many pine trees and a kind and detail-oriented catering lady. We're stopping by her open house today to sample cakes. This will probably be the most fun part of the wedding-preparation process. Yum.

Besides that, we've got my parents' church reserved for the early afternoon on our special day, which I think will prove just perfect for the size crowd we'll have there. Next up: starting pre-marital counseling with our pastor, planning the ceremony with him and our Camp Hill pastor and a church wedding planner, picking out attire and flowers and making invitations and whatnot. Oh boy! I'm actually sort of excited to finish our Save-the-Date postcards, and later, make up our lovely printed invites; it's been a long time since I've dedicated myself to a design project of any sort.

What a busy time!! I'm glad we still have eight whole months to finish working on all this stuff.

And now, off to brunch and taste cakes!

French Cooking!!

2010-07-14T01:16:00.000-04:00

Some conquests for my upcoming personal adventurement:

aioli

Bouillabaisse

branade

cassoulet

confit Byaldi

Cozze gratinate

crudites

escargot

gratin Dauphinois
gratin Languedocien

gougere

hollandaisse

insalata Caprese

lobster Thermidor

piccalilli

pistou
quiche
ratatouille
remoulade

rouille

roux

salade Nicoise

Tapenade

Tourtiere

And now, to polish my skills in the kitchen, refine & awaken my palette to new flavours, discover wine pairings, and to learn how to properly accent the accents in these French words. Pronounciation as well? A French language class, perhaps? Julia Child, please!

A Season of Learning about Parenting, it seems

2010-07-14T00:16:00.000-04:00

Each day I run into parents with kids in public, I become more grateful to the parents I know here in Kutztown [as well as to my own!] who discipline their children.

I spent three-quarters of an hour at a large-scale retailer today, hoping to replenish my supply of argyle socks [with some success!], and whilst perusing the toothpaste department, I heard a sort of squealing and fierce screaming and intense whining/complaining. The banter came from at least 10 aisles down from where I stood. The volume of the screaming increased as I made my way toward the registers; it didn't sound as though the small demon even stopped to take a breath. I expected to see perhaps a 24 to 30-month old toddler, very upset about not getting his or her own way; clutching to some junky item the parent didn't want to buy.

But no!

I saw a child that looked about 4 or 5 years old, lying on the floor, with a grandmotherly-looking woman pulling her by the arm to drag her squeaking sneakers across the linoleum.

Oh, it was awful. And the screaming did not end.

I've gotten used to small-child-screaming from my landlady's toddler. She screams when she doesn't get her way, or she'll become upset when she's caught doing something wrong, but usually she's done and over it within five to fifteen minutes.

This kid at the store kept screaming. Grandma swung the kid up into her arms and had to carry the kicking & screaming beast out the front door. Everyone in the area stared, but the child felt no shame in assaulting her grandmother to get her own way.

I wished the cashier a good day and went out to see a very, very angry woman [the Mom?] tell off the little banshee for her bad behavior. This resulted in even louder screaming, to be heard by patrons of every business in the plaza parking lot.

I could see very clearly that the child was used to getting her own way, to wearing down the adults with personal-behavior-terrorism until she received what she wanted from them. She had no fear of the adults. She understood the anger, and felt upset by this, but there was no repentance for the awful behavior. There was no, "Sorry mom, I was a real brat in the store. Will you forgive me?"

So anyways, I'm real grateful to the parents who give their kids choices, to do as they're told or to face the consequences [be that a timeout, sent to bed without dinner, a spanking, more chores, etc]. They'll grow up to be socially functioning teenagers and adults. The brats who complain til they get their way will probably become mean girls and dbag frat dudes.

I can see so clearly that a healthy fear of discipline leads to respect & obedience toward the parent. I understand that not all parents punish corporately, but my friends with the best behaved kids happen to do so. It's no longer the day of, "Boy, bring me a switch!" But the fear of The Wooden Spoon seems to drive kids toward more gracious behavior and more of love through actions in serving & obeying their parents.

So, mom & dad, thanks for spanking me when I deserved it.

discontent

2010-06-27T23:04:00.000-04:00

Dear friend & college apartmentmate Meghan came to town to hang with me last night. I rather enjoyed our conversation, catching up on life and ambitions and conquests and dreams. She kept stating how she missed living in Kutztown, how quaint & quiet it is, how pastoral and friendly.

I find I'm becoming disinterested.

Many folk around here are quite happy and do good in marrying and making babies. But there are others out there living what I dream about; traveling the country, getting a master's degree, homesteading, having decent full-time jobs.

When will I get there? Living the dream?

"Wealth is determine

2010-05-02T20:21:00.001-04:00

"Wealth is determined by the ability to choose." RRR

i me you i'm your

2010-05-02T15:37:00.001-04:00

i me you i'm your

aight, time for lunc

2010-05-02T12:54:00.001-04:00

aight, time for lunch with robin :)

unmotivated for spri

2010-05-02T12:48:00.001-04:00

unmotivated for spring cleaning!!

i think that i am gr

2010-05-02T12:06:00.001-04:00

i think that i am great at procrastinating

mmmm ciabatta

2010-05-01T23:45:00.001-04:00

mmmm ciabatta

hot day, going to Ri

2010-05-01T19:03:00.001-04:00

hot day, going to Rita's..

organic tomato & veg

2010-05-01T16:48:00.001-04:00

organic tomato & veg sauce, semolina & egg pasta, spinach salad with tomatoes & blackberry buckle : current project

no rutabagas

2010-05-01T16:44:00.001-04:00

no rutabagas

i hope there are rut

2010-05-01T13:03:00.001-04:00

i hope there are rutabagas!

all right... beautif

2010-05-01T12:54:00.001-04:00

all right... beautiful day to head out to the farmers' market

plants

2010-04-18T14:52:00.000-04:00

Okay, went to Rodale yesterday to pick up the scraps of what was left of the plant sale. Parsley, broccoli & some Japanese leafy green that starts with ,M'. Then poked around in a rack of seed packs & found carrots, turnips, lettuce, leeks, muskmelon & some other stuff. After that we went to Renningers & the two ladies there had a greater selection of vegetable seedlings [perhaps not usda certified organic, but - ?]. They had at least a dozen breeds of tomatoes for sale, & I'm interested in getting some with a chronological difference in maturity so we'll harvest different sizes & flavours at different times.

AND we've already got a little strawberry plant in a pot [I hope it spreads like a weed & gives us many, many berries] and some thyme & basil growing nicely from seed. Pesto this summer!

springtime

2010-04-16T12:03:00.000-04:00

It is spring in Pennsylvania and green and yellow bleed into my sight everywhere I look. I drove the back roads betwixt farm & field yesterday on my way to Echo Hill country store and the fields of green were wrecked with dandelion debris. The pollen floats on the breeze invisibly into every runny nose and itchy eye. That, I have heard, is at the most ridiculously high levels we've seen in years. Something like that.

At the present moment, I am searching for a[n additonal] job for the summer. Parts of my heart long to work at a summer camp, reaching out to kids and spending every moment climbing mountains and searching streams, but I do also feel called to Kutztown and to continuing ministry [hopefully] to the great people I work with at the art stuff store. They're a beautiful group of women whom I want to love on; I really do enjoy growing into deeper friendships with them and the conversations we have when there are few customers in the store.

Because of this, it seems a 'small' job in town would be the best way to go as far as a little increase in income goes. I applied for an internship at an organic farm [with professional resume & kickass cover letter], and I'll ask for applications to the little cafes & ice cream shops & boutiques up & down Main Street. Perhaps I'll market myself for an au pair job. I'm really looking to work Thursday through Saturday to create a complete work week. It's nice having more time to work on painting, but the skin on my hands craves clay, and acrylic or oil cannnot satisfy.

Or I'll bake and bake bread, fill a cart & go up & down the street trying to sell my delicious loaves. Were that a well-paying job, I'd employ myself immediately.

Also, I'm currently accepting ideas for part-time jobs. Anyone hiring??

wanna be

2010-02-19T12:23:00.001-05:00

in the light LIGHT ... as You are in the light LIGHT! WANNA SHINE...!

ART & life

2010-02-05T10:57:00.001-05:00

Ah, yes, working for Blick does have its benefits. Speaking with local artists, art students and art supporters is great for filling my brain with ideas and my heart with passion. And I do get some pretty sweet deals on the materials I use. Working daily in a comfortable atmosphere with creative people is all sorts of fun.

Yesterday at work I had a conversation with this laid-back, friendly woman who works as a sculptor. She's been doing bronze castings for years, but has recently had some problems with her hands [an artist's injury] and is moving into doing coil constructions with clay. We talked about wood firings and pit firings and how a potter friend of hers will help her construct a kiln in her yard; the clays she could use for it. I described some of the wood firings I did in school with Professor Chaney, in his massive anagama. Whites, greens and reds in the naturally settled ash glaze pieces unexpectedly. Delicate and dainty porcelain can become powerful and robust in the wood kiln.

She told me about her interest in paper clay, in which any paper is recycled and mixed into clay slip to create a light-weight, porous, low-fire sculpting clay. Very interesting. She gave me some sculptors to look up and explained her love of figure sculpting. She spoke fantastically, with passion, and as a true artist - one unconcerned with the affairs of the world, who wants simply to create all the time. She did mention the thought of hiring a studio assistant to do the heavy work for her [extruding coils, mixing clay & whatnot] so she could focus on the sculpting.

I asked if she had a website with photos of her work, she replied no. I checked her out with the clay and tools she needed, seeing her name briefly across the screen as I scanned her discount card. I wrote down my website address for her to check out my work, which I told her about a little bit. The next customer approached as she rolled out her clay & waved a friendly farewell.

I spent maybe a quarter of an hour total that afternoon attempting to look up her name in the database, in order to follow up & keep in contact, if she were to need a studio assistant [me?] or someone to help out with the firings. Oh, I do hope she emails me!

see? i told you i need to travel more...

2010-01-30T00:30:00.000-05:00

visited 22 states (44%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

eight.

2010-01-29T23:30:00.000-05:00

1. i love Echo Hill Country Store.

2. working on developing new bread recipes.

3. received the brochure about CreationFest. read through & realized how very high-school-oriented it is.

4. acquired my Berks County library card today.

5. enjoyed browsing around in Young Ones today.

6. so glad my Corolla is old. :o)

7. painting is fun again. loving the dioxazine.

8. i need to go on an adventure soon.

Bread

2010-01-08T21:19:00.000-05:00

Ever since I've realized home-made bread over the past year, I've sort of become disgusted with grocery store breads. Even the ones labeled, "whole wheat! multigrain!" are far from wholesome. Just take a look at the ingredients list.

HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP

means sugars are added to hyper-speed the yeast's rising. which means flavours, textures, and B vitamins are lost.

The "12 Grain" store breads consist of (again, please read along) Enriched Flour (means iron, thiamine, and other vitamins & minerals must be added back into the flour mix as they have stripped the whole wheat kernels of nutrition) and "2% of less of..." the remaining "11 grains".

I say screw that. Right now I'm rising a loaf of whole barley & brown rice (which i had to simmer for an hour - no instant here!), oats, corn meal, whole grain rye flour, wheat bran and a wheat flour. It's SO grainy; no "2% or less" at all!

...i sure hope it tastes good...

hey sugar

2009-12-15T20:09:00.000-05:00

i am so sick of reading "sugar/high fructose corn syrup/maltose/maltodextrin/cane juice/fruit concentrate" on every single pre-packaged food available.

it's even in bread. bread you buy at the store.

this is why i do my own baking.

i fuind it scummy how food companies will claim "made with fruit" on the front label, when on the back you read "fruit concentrate" which is fruit boiled down & sifted until there are no vitamins, no fiber, not any good thing left except the fructose.

it's sick. it's ugly. it's because consumers are addicted to sugars, which makes more money for the food companies.

what an ugly, distasteful truth.

What to Eat

2009-11-20T18:53:00.000-05:00

Currently reading What to Eat by Marion Nestle. She's a professor of nutrition at NYU. Cool.

Apparently she's done all sorts of extensive research on what food companies want us to think and buy, who owns food companies, why grocery stores are all laid out the same way, and what goes into genetically modified, organic, conventional, and local foods.

If you've ever been to a grocery store in North America, it probably has either flowers or the bakery section by the entrance [to stimulate appetite by smell], long long aisles of prepackaged foods [to keep you interested while walking along slowly], bright shining bins of produce [waxed over & labelled with various countries & states of nonlocal origin] and all that placed between you and the important stuff [milk, bread, eggs, meats - all located furthest away from the entrances] so that you look at more things they have to offer than you need.

The author states that 70% of grocery store customers create lists before shopping. 10% of shoppers don't buy more than their list includes.

Next time: Sugar - How invasive it is in our diets.

failure

2009-11-17T22:12:00.002-05:00

failure: emily drinks real milk, phil drinks real milk,
    french dairy farmers of 1944 drink real milk;
    milk is boiled to scorching, milk is skimmed
    milk is bleached, milk is tainted.

failure: using coordinates & clues &
    global positioning units for geocaching for hours & finding nothing.

failure: reading "best meteor shower of the decade", reading "11 pm to 4 am",
not reading "best view around 4 am", seeing only 4 shooting stars.

failure: setting goals, breaking goals daily,
seeking help in the wrong place, self righteousness, self decay.

failure: landlord remodeling, research demographics &
rent rates, nowhere to go, close store, lay off employees.

failure: job searching, another opportunity for failure?

aspiration: new job, new town, more meteors;
drinking real fresh milk straight from the milk bucket.

palm 93

2009-10-23T11:08:00.000-04:00

the Lord reigns, He is robed in majesty; the Lord is robed in majesty and is armed with strength.

the world is firmly established; it cannot be moved.

Your throne was established long ago; You are from all eternity.

the seas have lifted up, o Lord, the seas have lifted up their voice; the seas have lifted up their pounding waves.

mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea - the Lord on high is mighty.

Your statutes stand firm; holiness adorns Your house for endless days, o Lord.

day

2009-10-14T22:13:00.000-04:00

today at work i met a german lady whose name is Hildegard [how old skool].

this evening i hung out with grandmotherly types, as i won't have my own for much longer.

i will learn how to purl.

...

2009-10-06T02:52:00.001-04:00

today i woke up late, didn't run, went to work, read some of a contrarian's guide to knowing God: spirituality for the rest of us by larry osborne during lunch break, worked some more, work is boring, went to erin's to help make applesauce & play "practically perfect" & "would you rather" & then we went out and played & talked some more and i came home late. ....to hateful messages. wtf?

wealth

2009-09-24T03:06:00.000-04:00

i see a t.v. preacher promoting his 'financial breakthrough bible' and the 'four miracles god will release into your life'. before that, he proclaimed God's coming judgement on the u.s. for its inappropriate sex and abortion.

i look once more at this man, shouting into his microphone, wearing a great big red silk tie, an enormous gold ring on his finger, and an expensive-looking suit that covers his enormous body.

my confession: i eat more than my body needs. it's true. where in my caloric intake does ice cream play a part in aiding the nutrition of my body? it does not. i call myself out: i'm a sinner who eats more than i need to.

the increasing reality of americans' obsession with food can be clearly seen in their volume. cars become suvs [for suburban commuters] to accomodate the size of passengers. rollercoasters now boast rows of larger seats for their guests. tv channels that once provided science education now air programs about 800+ pound persons' addictions to take-out, their bed-bound lives, their gastric bypass surgeries, and their deaths.

it is easy to point out obese people and their obvious problem: food addiction. but we must think on our own selves as well. how much are we eating? what money are we spending frivolously that could be used to help the poor - as Jesus asks us to?

if one person who purchases a cup of coffee three to four times a week gives up the java and puts that money towards a poor child; that person could sponsor a kid in africa for his or her education, healthcare, food and more... for years.

Jesus calls us to love God and love our neighbor. more specifically, He calls us to do three things to honor God: pray, give, fast. i admit, i struggle to do all three of those. it may be difficult because of the implications our western society puts on us as its citizens, fueling our selfish, sinful nature.

1. pray - prayer constitutes the simple act of quieting the mind and communing with God. listening to Him, and speaking with Him [beyond asking for trivial things & saying thanks for dinner]. how do we achieve quiet? put down the crackberry, hush the tweeting, log off of facebook. turn off the mobile phone, step outside, lie down in the grass and be quiet. do that for more than 10 minutes and find out how much you hear.

2. give - God wants us to take care of the misfortunate because it brings honor to His name.
instinct tells us that the man on the street asking for change will use it the next minute to buy booze or crack. does Jesus ask us to judge what he'll do with that money? if we're honest with ourselves, as much as we think we work hard to "earn" money, we can't deny that God gave us the skills... and provided education... and put us in the job... and He's the one who truly earned us our paychecks. the earth is the Lord's, and everything in it. even two dollars in your pocket belongs to God - let His will be done when we give to strangers.

3. fast - this one is the most oft ignored among american Christ-followers. we don't think about *not* eating, mostly because we have in our country a ridiculous abundance of food. God spoke to the prophet isaiah, telling him that He wants a fast that's pure - a heart that wants to give up food so it can give that food to the hungry. He says if we do this, "then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear. then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard." awesome, awesome things happen when we choose the righteous path. what's holding us back?

Freedom

2009-09-20T13:15:00.000-04:00

It is absolutely clear that God has called you to a free life. Just make sure that you don't use this freedom as an excuse to do whatever you want to do and destroy your freedom. Rather, use your freedom to serve one another in love; that's how freedom grows.

For everything we know about God's Word is summed up in a single sentence: Love others as you love yourself. That's an act of true freedom. If you bite and ravage each other, watch out - in no time at all you will be annihilating each other, and where will your precious freedom me then?

My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?

It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.

This isn't the first time I have warned you, you know. If you use your freedom this way, you will not inherit God's kingdom.

But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off for good—crucified.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.

Galatians 5:13-26, The Message

deterioration of the fight or flight response

2009-09-03T17:29:00.001-04:00

Fight or flight. It's what we've been told. We're expected to do it. Instinct, as they say.

And you can't say you haven't ever made the subconscious choice and done one or the other or (likely) both. We're humans; we're confronted; our hearts are put on the line. A situation arises and that slow burn comes upon our hearts, fueling anger or confusion - pushing us to counter the problem strongly or leave it and run away, hoping to clear our heads and forget it all.

And it can happen any time...

When folks start talking dissenting politics, it's likely a person will argue or leave the room.

At that breaking point, when your most important relationship is under attack, what do you do? Fight the flesh? Fight the wife or the husband or the best friend? Or do you run? Do you even look back behind you?

We're all succumbed to fighting. We've all flown off, as well. It's instinct. It's human nature. It's our flesh taking action for us.

But what does the heart say?

Our hearts know that malignant situations come upon us, and that we should solve them rationally, not hurting the other person or thing involved. We should take time; figure things out.

So, how do we fight the instinct?

Could I do it by myself?

Certainly not.

Without the help and the drive of a perfect person, it's impossible.

How grateful, then, are we to be that the very Spirit of God rests within us. The very Spirit that can cause mountains to crack & crumble into pieces lives inside you and inside me to calm our inner storms. He brings us peace & serenity.

His presence moves us not to fight anymore. We don't have to run away; we run only to Him.

The temptation to lean on our own selves for understanding is, of course, strong and with us.

But we can choose to fall on Him.

We fight and flee no more.

2009-06-26T23:08:00.000-04:00

live in a house
sleep under stars

shoes on pavement
feet on dirt

cityscape
clean air, clear skies

work for the man
climb trees, explore rivers, climb mountains

Bread Winner

2009-05-12T12:19:00.003-04:00

Check out what I made:

Also did some tiny, roundy dinner rolls for Mother's Day supper. Caprese salad, steak marinated in flat trippel & basil, dirt pudding. Turned out to be a great meal!

I'm currently in love with this publication: The Book of Bread by Judith & Evan Jones. The authors are a homesteadin' Vermont couple who've travelled globally to bake locally. Their book is full of the very best recipes they've collected from around the world, and it includes pleasant little sketches of dough being kneaded and loaves after baking. I really like that the whole thing is printed on a creamy paper in brown ink - very pleasing to the eye and grain-oriented!

Well, I've been borrowing (and renewing) the library's copy for several weeks now, and tainting its pages with whole wheat flour. I would really love my own copy, but Greg tells me to wait on it as he comes from a lineage of baking women who have their own recipe books to share. I look forward to that - so for now I'll keep taking advantage of the library. ;-)

Two Weeks: VIII

2009-05-12T11:45:00.003-04:00

Tuesday, May 5

Work again, gave Magan some okra, which seemingly brightened her day. :)

Wednesday, May 6

Grabbed a sushi lunch with Robin & Abby, debriefed the week at Princeton and the three of us got really pumped about making our youth ministry more relational. Work again, then had dinner at ABC with Meg and Dan.

Thursday, May 7

Ill in the morning (I hope not because of the fish & chips?) It may be "swine flu", which apparently began its existence while I was out of town. Strange! So I just napped all day, ate crackers & broth, etc. Also watched Grey's Anatomy - oh my!!

Friday, May 8

House cleaning to prepare for Bridget hosting prom dinner. Stopped by work to bid Meg farewell, with a six-pack of glass-bottled Cokes. Weather improving - hopefully Central PA air quality will improve as well!

Two Weeks: VII

2009-05-12T11:44:00.002-04:00

Sunday, May 3

Sunday school with the high schoolers was SWEET. I used Adrienne's idea and asked them to text answers to a broad question, which then I simply wrote on the board. I think the anonymity of answering that way helped foster a great conversation, because once the ideas were up on the whiteboard they were open to talking about everything. We read part of Acts 2, and a verse from John 14 when Jesus says He's the Way. Talked about how we desire truer community than what our church offers us now. I think there will be a gradual revolution in the way our group functions, and I'm excited about that!

Greg took me to Molly Brannigan's for a lovely Irish brunch, then back home for a nap before we headed back to West Chester to hang out at his folks' again. Had fun goofing off with brother Mark & helped Greg pack up for his trip to Maine.

Monday, May 4

Said goodbye for now, then drove in the pouring rain back to Harrisburg, exploring Route 441 North a bit. Got to work to find out that Meg & Clare were leaving soon; Meg's role as assistant manager to be replaced by Dan. Much excitement! I'll be sad to see Meg go, but she'll be working at the reputable Penland school of Craft, which is super awesome.

Two Weeks: VI

2009-05-12T11:43:00.001-04:00

Friday, May 1

Helped Greg clean up & move out of his apartment, killed a bird with my car, drove to Abington to hang out with grandma for her 82nd birthday. Got home to Greg's parents' house, ate, hung out, relaxed, unloaded the truck & such.

Saturday, May 2

Greg & I went to the Fine Furnishings show in Baltimore. I am so good at reading maps, but apparently my PA map cuts off at a certain point on Route 1 South. Well, we got there, saw some sweet woodworking. Greg especially liked one guy Dave's work - lots of slabs, totally natural look & process. He doesn't do too much to the wood - and finishes it with linseed oil, rather than synthetic toxic crap. If we're ever in southern Illinois, I'm sure we'll visit Dave's shop.

Next, we drove up to York County (the "heart" of PA wine country, apparently) & tried to find Sarah's aunt&uncle's place: Moon Dancer Winery. There are more than 2 yards on that road with grapes growing in them. Found the party, hung out with KU people; Greg & I agreed that we aren't "winos" at all... drove back to Harrisburg & relaxed the rest of the evening while planning Sunday school stuff.

Two Weeks: V

2009-05-12T11:42:00.002-04:00

Thursday, April 30th

Final day of great lectures & fellowship with everyone. Went to a great session, "Lifecasting: Teens Fishing for Intimacy in a Sea of Technology" about how adolescents grew up completely with technology, how they use it, how they change it, and how we can deepen relationships face-to-face, which is what they're really searching for. Great stuff! Picnic lunch with Donna, Jorge, and Susan from Wisconsin, followed by session 2 with Tom Stephen. Adrienne came this time too. :-)

Final small group meeting was a fun trip together to the Bent Spoon (I ate chocolate habanero ice cream - yowza!) filled with laughter, stories, and sharing contact information (just like the last day at camp). Another great lecture from Andy Root - great content, although his rhetoric is a little scripted. The Banquet that night was great - met Will from Clark's Summit, and enjoyed more good food served on actual dinnerware this time - coffee in fancy teacups, too! They gave out awards & certificates to folks and then we gathered for powerful final worship to send us out back into the world.

Sad goodbyes preceded my drive back to Kutztown, although Wallace called me and filled me in about how the invisible children rescue was still going on and they were petitioning Oprah in Chicago to help them end the civil war in Uganda & save the kids there. Arrived in Kutztown for a relaxing evening with Greg.

Summary: if you're a successful pastor/theologian, write a book!!

Two Weeks: IV

2009-05-12T11:40:00.002-04:00

Wednesday, April 29th

Day started with a long lecture, Southern-Baptist style. Rainy & cooler today. Grabbed some coffee at Small World (recommended by Robin) - lovely! Afternoon was free time, so grabbed a cheesesteak downtown with Dan, Jim & Amanda, followed by Canada v. US floor hockey!! Flippin' awesome! Canadians are so hardcore - pastor Blair was wicked fast; saw some seriously intense moves from all of them. Andy Root definitely the most solid U.S. player - saw some quick moves of the stick from him!!

Afterwards, Amanda & I wandered Princeton U. campus until we found the art museum, spent 20 minutes there 'til closing time. I looked at some Renaissance & medieval paintings (Albrecht Durer, yea!) as well as a few quick peeks at some Impressionists/Modernists (Degas, Monet, Manet, Van Gogh, Cezanne - all the good guys). Amanda had been exploring far more ancient Chinese art downstairs.

Then we wandered around town, Palmer Square esp. - checked out a ceramic/glass shop, popped into the Bent Spoon for a few tastes, visited Jake's on Nassau (I usually like a lot of the Life is Good stuff, but theirs was clearly meant for the affluent population of Princeton - "Life is Good... when I'm golfing"). Later we met up with Jim & Jorge at Triumph for dinner - and saw a great big crowd of Forum on Youth Ministry leadership (administrative folks, lecturers, pastors) come into their reserved party room right behind us. Jorge said, "Well, it's good for the leadership folks to get away from us and hang out for a bit." I replied, "Yea, it's grown-ups only night out!" It felt great to bond with folks 30-40 years old and not feel like a "kid" amongst them. :-) Well, this was the day Amanda & I had gotten a ride to campus with Donna, so we were waiting in the cold for the hotel shuttle to get us. Oh man. Did a midnight swim before bedtime - very refreshing!

Two Weeks: III

2009-05-12T11:39:00.003-04:00

Tuesday, April 28th

Opening worship starts the day, then went to a different Extended Seminar with Amanda (all about conflict resolution - good stuff), went to a lecture on missional hermeneutics (very bookish - made it seem like going to seminary is a bit boring) but has some good small group discussion.

Picnic lunch with Adrienne, Gerald, Amanda & Martin followed by small group & more lectures. Went to the "soul-tending" session with Tom Stephen, who reckoned one's spiritual life to the 12-bar blues.

Later, Keynote speaker: Andy Root - said some great stuff about being real with the youth in your group, not elevating yourself to "youth leader" status, but just fostering person-to-person ministry. Another delicious meal to end the day (I'm thinking on-campus catering gets way improved for guests, haha) followed by good conversation at the Yankee Doodle (old-skool Princeton U. watering hole). I really enjoyed the wall of portraits of Princeton U. graduates - all a bunch of rich, white dudes until the most recent portrait: Michelle Obama. Oh, patriarchal society... Anyway, hung with Becky, Karen, Amanda, Jim, Martin, and met Donna from Long Island and Jorge from Michigan. Great folks!

Two Weeks: II

2009-05-12T11:37:00.002-04:00

Monday, April 27th

Said goodbye to Julie, met up with Greg who took me to Uptown Cafe for breakfast. Um, so chocolate pecan pie is flippin' amaaazing! Fueled up with good coffee for the road. Hadn't previously realized I-78 had such deeply rolling hills past Allentown/Bethlehem.

Made it into Jersey, almost broke down when I got stuck going 'round & 'round in a traffic circle. Saw Trenton & some Jersey countryside before I made it back to Princeton (yay detour). Figured out that PTS has some pretty horrible parking on the east side of campus; eventually found the lot behind the library. Wandered around a bit, met up with Amanda, tried to park on east campus but some administrative lady threatened us with a tire boot, found a spot (geez, this shouldn't be so hard...)

Then we went in for registration & opening worship, where I met pastors Mark D. & Tom S. after a sweet pro-real-community sermon. Small group time was refreshing in the shade on the grass. Jason Santos is a fun guy, chill, glad he was our "facilitator" (although we pretty much talked without him having to ask a lot of questions). Bonded with Karen from Eastern Shore Virginia, Dan from Alberta (yes, Canada!), Kareem from Newark, & Jim from the D.C. area. Great group!

Had our first Extended Seminar (mine was just ok), then another lecture (Mark DeVries on student leadership - solid stuff!) then sat down to dinner with Amanda, Adrienne & Martin. After dinner, Amanda and I each drove all over Route 1, being misled by those nasty jughandles until finally we made it to the hotel. Checked in, then met up with some Forum folks at Triumph on Nassau street. Met Becky from Wisconsin & Karen & Jim were there too for some great conversation.

2009-05-09T21:58:00.003-04:00

Two Weeks: I

2009-05-08T12:45:00.011-04:00

The past short chunk of time has been pretty crazy for me - thus, a de-brief blog will help me to collect my thoughts & decompress...

Saturday, April 25th

A full day at work, 10:00 am to 6:30 pm (as a part-timer, the first looong day for me). A hot day: ate lunch outside, which overheated me slightly until the end of the day. Felt good taking off my shoes after work. Drove to Kutztown, hung out with Julie, Greg, Josh, Jake, & Abrams at Basin Street, then stayed at Julie's apartment, talking until 3:00 am.

Sunday, April 26th

An early rise to walk across town to meet at the middle school for Cornerstone Church. A quick service - senior recognition, baby dedication, quick explanation of baptism, followed by baptism of my "freshman" friends (those who arrived at my senior year) Ben, Britt, and Adam, as well as Alex "SP" Smith. Gotta love watching the dunkings. Church picnic location change from Kutztown Park to Raudenbush Farm - spring allergies arrive on this hot & windy day, so Greg takes me back to his house to sleep while he goes into the studio to work all afternoon.

Went to the Library, hung out with Sylvia for a while, whilst figuring out the best way to get from Kutztown PA to Princeton NJ. Popped into the wood shop to see Greg, still working hard, then went to Ebling to help Julie procrastinate from studying for finals and to hang out with Jake, who showed me the mouse he beat to death. We explored various recipe websites to help him expand his cooking repertoire from microwaved egg & hot dog dishes (ew), and I taught him the basics of playing harmonics on guitar (we watched Susan's video, since she is actually good at it) Greg took me to Camillo's to eat an e-nor-mous calzone. Tried a Blue Moon for the first time - lovely! Stayed with Julie again, further assisting her procrastination on studying.

Two things

2009-04-16T10:10:00.003-04:00

There are two things I wish all Americans would do. The world's cost of food has been rising because North Americans have been using corn for non-food purposes. If I could broadcast myself in the national media, I would ask folks to:

1. Stop using corn-based ethanol to fuel your cars. Sure, it may be a tiny bit more environmentally sound, but it still pollutes and it's wasting food that could be used to feed hungry kids in Africa/Asia/South America. Carpool. Ride a bike. Take a hike.

2. Eat less meat. It takes 5 months of feeding a pig 8 pounds of feed per day to get it to full size - 265 pounds. (http://www.pork4kids.com). 1200 pounds of food (say, corn) create only 265 pounds of meat (less the inedible parts of the animal). Those 1200 pounds of corn can feed a LOT more people than ~265 pounds of pork. Additionally, more energy and vitamins & nutrients are absorbed through eating corn - because the pig has already digested & used much of that energy by the time you get to eating the pork. Seriously, beans & rice will save the world. If we allow it.

Every day, I'm more and more appalled by the wasteful gluttony I see here in this country. I may just learn Spanish and move to a monastery in Peru.

On a more fun note, my friend Matthew has made a fun video to share:

A bad potluck dish

2009-04-09T12:19:00.003-04:00

Hello! I know that everyone loves potlucks/pot blessings/covered dish/bring-food-to-share dinners, so of course everyone must be familiar with the one dish on the table that looks a little funky and slightly untouched for that reason. Before you take another sympathy scoop from that particular dish at your next potluck, read the story of the original icky potluck entree:

Elisha returned to Gilgal and there was a famine in that region. While the company of the prophets was meeting with him, he said to his servant, "Put on the large pot and cook some stew for these men."

One of them went out into the fields to gather herbs and found a wild vine. He gathered some of its gourds and filled the fold of his cloak. When he returned, he cut them up into the pot of stew, though no one knew what they were. The stew was poured out for the men, but as they began to eat it, they cried out, "O man of God, there is death in the pot!" And they could not eat it.

Elisha said, "Get some flour." He put it into the pot and said, "Serve it to the people to eat." and there was noting harmful in the pot."

(2 Kings 4:38-41)

Jell-O/marshmallow salad, anyone?

Mating Season

2009-04-06T16:39:00.007-04:00

Typing seems to be faster than handwriting, so this place on the internet seems to be the best place to journal my weird thoughts. Here is another:

It is spring. I ran this morning and enjoyed the cool air, wet pavement, green grass and bright daffodils. All signs of April in Pennsylvania.

Going past one well-manicured lawn, I saw a pair of cardinals zipping around: a red one chasing a brown one. The male has bright, crimson feathers & a fancy hat; the female is a modest, soft brown hue.

I've noticed that this is often the case in birds: the male is more visually attractive than the female. Girlie birdies are beautiful in their own ways, but the colorations on the males are specifically designed to attract the eye.

Consider: a red cardinal; a green-faced mallard; a blue-green peacock with magnificent tailfeathers. On the other hand, the female cardinal, the female duck, and the peahen are each a duller brown color.

This is less often true in mammals. Buck & doe rabbits look the same, dogs of the same breed look the same; porcupines, raccoons, coyotes have the same appearance between genders (except size, sometimes). Deer have the functional difference in that the bucks have antlers they use for fighting over the females. One case I can think of is that lions have great big manes, and lionesses do not.

So anyways, I was looking at these cardinals today and thinking about how (most often in birds, I guess) the male is the "pretty" one, using his physical appearance to attract a female mate. With people, it's quite the opposite: women are the beautiful ones. In societies where courtship is practiced, the men each seek out a beautiful woman and woo her.

Boy-birds woo their lady-birds with their looks, while men woo women because of their looks. I don't know if there's any theology/philosophy/biological reasoning behind that, but I've observed this a few times before, and I wonder why our Creator chose to give women beauty rather than men, while the reverse is true in the animal kingdom. (I'm open to anyone's thoughts or answers in this)

Easter? Not really...

2009-04-02T16:45:00.007-04:00

Regretfully, I had never been exposed to multiple forms of Christian spirituality as a child. Occasionally I got to go to mass with my dad, which I found more interesting, but 95% of the time was Sunday mornings at Presbyterian church. Mainline, white, Anglo-Saxon, Protestant church. "Middle class" to rich white folks.

And we followed the church calendar all year. Advent (waiting for Christmas), Christmas, Epiphany (arrival of the Magi in Bethlehem), Lent (waiting for Easter), Easter, Ascencion, and Pentecost (arrival of the Holy Spirit). This religious calendar was simply a part of the life I
lived on Sundays before lunchtime. It was all a given. A part of time.

(I do often wish I lived in innocence/ignorance of the church calendar.
Last year I spoke with Greg about whatever church
services were going on, and I mentioned "Maundy Thursday."
He said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the remembrance of the Thursday
when Jesus had His final Passover meal with His disciples,
and then prayed in the garden and was arrested."
Greg replied, "What is a maundy?"
I had no answer for him - I had simply called it that
my whole life without asking what the word
meant - how ignorant a follower I am! I discovered
maundatum - "command," as in , "A new command I give you: love
one another as I have loved you." - Jesus' final command to His disciples)

When I got involved at a non-denominational church in college, though, all that day-by-day religiosity simply wasn't present. They did Christmas and Easter, sure. But the difference was that Pastor Nate always called Easter "Resurrection Sunday." And that is what it is. It made much more sense than calling it some sort of made-up word that doesn't appear in the Bible. Of course, I decided to go on an internet quest to find out why we call Jesus' resurrection "Easter."

It quite has nothing to do with Him or His resurrection day. Easter comes from Ēostre-monath, a month of the Germanic calendar named after Ēostre, the Anglo-Saxon pagan goddess of spring/fertility/dawn/the dawn star(Venus).

"Eastre, the Anglo-Saxon name of a Teutonic goddess of spring and fertility, to whom was dedicated a month corresponding to April. Her festival was celebrated on the day of the vernal equinox; traditions associated with the festival survive in the Easter rabbit, a symbol of fertility, and in colored easter eggs, originally painted with bright colors to represent the sunlight of spring." - history.com

In America, people who call themselves followers of Christ - the risen One - choose to celebrate His resurrection day by repeating pagan traditions formerly used to celebrate this goddess Ēostre. And only in the English-speaking world do we continue to honor this goddess by name on the resurrection day of Jesus...

From religioustolerance.org:

"Based on Pagan name: In English, "Easter" is derived from the name of an ancient pagan goddess Eostre.

Based on "Pesach:" In most of the remaining languages in countries with a Christian heritage, the name is derived from "Pesach" (פסח in Hebrew) the name for Passover. These include...

Afrikaans: Paasfees
Arabic: عيد الفصح (Aīd ul-Figh)
Finnish: Pääsiäinen
French: Pâques
Greek: Πάσχα (Pascha)
Hebrew: פסחא (Pascha)
Irish: Cáisc
Malayalam: പെശഹ (Pæsacha/Pæsaha)
Spanish: Pascua
Tagalog: Pasko ng Muling Pagkabuhay, "the Pasch of the Resurrection"

Other bases:
Armenian: Զատիկ (Zadik) "separation" or Սուրբ Հարություն (Sourb Haroutiwn) "holy resurrection"
Chinese: Fùhuó Jié, "Resurrection Festival"
Georgian: აღდგომა (Aĝdgoma), "rising"
Japanese: katakana or Fukkatsusai, "Resurrection Festival"
Tongan (South-pacific): Pekia, "death (of a Lord)"

April 1st

2009-04-01T13:58:00.010-04:00

April 1st is the best day of the year to use Gmail/Google. Those guys are great.

So now that it's April, it seems summer approaches more quickly. Currently I'm trying to figure out what to do with myself... advice, please?

Option A :: continue working at Dick Blick
+ relaxed schedule
+ teach classes at Carlisle Arts Learning Center
- Blick doesn't pay a lot (7.50/hr)
+ could earn money teaching at CALC

Option B :: work at Krislund, again
+ being outside for the summer (this is necessary)
+ not living at home
+ hanging out with kids & great people
+ help the new camp director as an alum staff member
- very low pay (0.22/hr)
- quitting Blick, or returning to work in August?

Option C :: potential employment at local state park
+ pays a freakin' lot more (12.75/hr)
+ would involve playing outside for the summer
+ could perhaps continue part time at Blick?
- 1 hour commute (2 hrs daily!)
+ continue involvement at CALC

Option D :: day camp for "at risk" jr. high kids
+ decent wages (8.50/hr) and hours (10-3)
+ fun activities (hiking trips, amusement parks...)
+ loving on kids who need it
+ could work afternoons & weekends at Blick
+ continue involvement at CALC

So that all has been on my mind lately.

Also this summer, if I'm around Camp Hill, I'll be able to continue hanging out with the youth group, which would be sweet. I am definitely going on the summer mission trip, July 18-26 - and hopefully Wallace will be coming as well! Plans may work out that I simply stick around in Maine after that and head east to Petit Manan to spend a few weeks with Greg's family on the coast. Wallace and I area also thinking about doing some sort of white-water rafting trip around here (PA, MD, VA). A summer of adventure!

This morning I made an attempt at vacuuming, but it broke, smoked and made a seriously awful smell. I turned on the bathroom and kitchen vent fans, opened windows, went upstairs for an hour - it still smelled, so I used a name-brand air spray and 2 hours later the scent still lingers lightly. Ew.

Yesterday I went shopping for my good friend Megan, whose bridal shower will take place on Saturday. The proprietor of the lingerie store was very kind and helpful; a lovely woman. Kept telling me how glad she was that I stopped in. Made me wish I had a reason to visit there more often, just to say hello.

I'm quite glad to be able to use the studio space at CALC. Last night I helped Thom with wedging some reclaimed clay and he told me all about teaching opportunities for the center. I can basically just make up a class curriculum, put together a materials list and then they'll make up advertisements for the thing. I got to see the creepy, creepy basement that extends under the entire building and has a cast-iron boiler the size of a steam engine in it, as well as some art materials. Apparently, the back room of the building had been used as a beauty school to get women off the streets in the 1970s - so they took beautician classes upstairs and lived in the basement. I can't imagine how anyone would want to live down there - I'd rather sleep on the sidewalk!!

Anyways, it's wet out, and spring is settling in, soon to dry out (I hope). Looking forward to sunny days, hiking, kayaking, and maybe some bouldering down at White Rocks. I think if I get that state park job I'd get a chance to do some paddling on their lakes. Maybe I'll look into pricing for kayaks...

My Review of Teva Sayulita Cork Sandals (For Women)

2009-03-26T13:00:00.001-04:00

Sierra Trading Post

Closeouts . The Sayulita cork sandal from Teva incorporates a unique rivet stud closure system on the leather straps for a more urban look. Soft, waffle-textured EVA footbed Molded cork midsole Encapsulated Shoc Pad heel Felt heel strap pad Textured rubber outsole Medium width Closeouts ...

Delightful footwear

Kate Harrisburg, PA 3/26/2009

Sizing: Feels true to size

Width: Feels true to width

Pros: Cute, Stylish, Durable, AWESOME, Corksynthetic sole, Comfortable, Breathable

Cons: Needs Break-in, Chafes

Best Uses: Travel, Going Out, Everyday, Barbecues, Walking

Describe Yourself: Active, Casual, Alternative

Teva's Salyulita sandals are quite wonderful. I love the combination cork and synthetic sole - it gives great traction with comfortable arch support. The leather straps take a little breaking in at first, but feel great and allow a lot of breathability. The rivet connections are a real unique feature, as well. These sandals are great for running around town and even for a leisurely walk or day hike.

()

it's here

2009-03-21T12:28:00.001-04:00

You Are Blooming Flowers

You are an optimistic person by nature. In even the darkest times, you are hopeful about the future.

You feel truly blessed in life and can sometimes be overwhelmed with emotions.

You have an artist's eye. You are always looking for beauty in the mundane.

You have a good sense of aesthetics, especially when it comes to shapes and color.

What Part of Spring Are You?

With what do you wipe your butt?

2009-03-12T17:53:00.004-04:00

Guess I never really thought about the fact that we literally send trees down the toilet every day. It makes me want to stop pooping! Or figure out an alternative...

American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers'

The tenderness of the delicate American buttock is causing more environmental devastation than the country's love of gas-guzzling cars, fast food or McMansions, according to green campaigners. At fault, they say, is the US public's insistence on extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply products when they use the bathroom.

Greenpeace offers a guide comparing recycled post-consumer vs. virgin paper pulp toilet papers here.

Leave it to hollywood

2009-02-26T00:01:00.004-05:00

...to make a movie about life in poverty and actually exploit the poor kid actors who do so.

Slumdog children to be rehoused

"Rubina Ali and Azharuddin Ismail, who played young versions of two main characters, were discovered by casting agents in Mumbai's Garib Nagar slum.

There was an outcry when it was found they were still living there after the success of the Oscar-winning film."

Since the producers of the movie wimped out on stepping up to make a difference in these two kids' lives, the Indian government is now paying for and giving decent housing to the families of the two child actors who brought pride to their country.

As for the western, Oscar-winning, millionaire movie-makers?

"The boy's father, Mohammed, who suffers from tuberculosis, told The Times of India: 'We have barely got any money from the film-makers. In fact, whatever came, has already been spent.'"

Crap Reduction

2009-02-16T15:43:00.003-05:00

Okay, so this is a weird thought, but my brain enjoys tangents so this is what's going on in there:

Yesterday at Cornerstone Pastor Nate gave a sermon on John 15: Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. We have to be connected to Him or we'll whither.

His visual aide was a bit different. He had placed a large bowl of pure water on a pedestal above a smaller bowl filled with vegetable oil. He connected a siphon between the two, which allowed the larger bowl to fill the smaller one with water, pushing the oil out over the top. He likened God to the larger bowl, filled with goodness, and us to the smaller bowl, filled with icky stuff. We need to be connected to God so He can cleanse us of our gross stuff (our sins, our pain, all our dirt).

So that was a good idea. Then, he unveiled what was placed on a neighboring pedestal: a toddler-sized training toilet. You know, the plastic kind of tiny potty that comes in bright colours. He set the siphon between the toilet and the smaller bowl (representing individual people). He talked about how often we disconnect from God and suck our spiritual nutrition from something else - anything except God - which essentially means we're drinking from the toilet. Ick.

I loved the point P. Nate made and wrote notes and drew small diagrams of toilets and bowls of oil and then came the tangent...

Most people in America that are between ages 0 and 40 have parents who used disposable diapers on them. Now, the average baby soils about 6 diapers/nappies per day. That means one baby goes through 2190 diapers in one year. Multiply that by the time it takes for a kid to graduate from diapers to being potty trained, and that's between 4380 and 8760 diapers that each person in America has indirectly deposited into a landfill (how could plastic + crap be recycled?)

Let's say the average weight of a used diaper is one pound. That means each person has added between 2 and 4 tons of waste to any number of landfills in our country.

Are you as dumbfounded by this as I am??

I feel awful for the amount of waste my own body produced when I had no control of how it was disposed. Robin and I discussed this at breakfast (good timing, I know), and she could gladly say her parents used cloth diapers on her as an infant.

I usually try to be pretty cautious about wasting materials, but now I'm feeling the weight of this realization of my past as a babychild. How ridiculous!! I don't know what it will take to negate the effects of all that crap (+plastic) I put into the world, but I hope I can find a way to de-impact the environment, some how.

Obesity contributes to global pollution

2009-01-29T17:12:00.002-05:00

Check out this article:

Should Overweight Consumers Pay Extra for Services From Southwest Airlines & Other Businesses?
A number of companies and consumer groups think that overweight adults should pay extra for their services. Do you?
http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/95247/should_overweight_consumers_pay_extra.html

Excerpt:

Statistics from the National Center for Health Statistics indicate that the American population's weight has been creeping up since the 1990's. More than thirty percent of American adults over the age of 20 are obese. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention states that the average weight of American adults has ballooned by 10 pounds.

The extra weight of these chubby vagabonds has translated into an additional $275 million dollar expenditure to burn more than 350 million additional gallons of jet fuel resulting in 3.8 million extra tons of carbon dioxide released into the air.

your thoughts?

25x

2009-01-27T14:01:00.003-05:00

001. i must eat m&ms in the correct order: blue, green, orange, red, yellow, brown.
002. i thrive on summer activities like hiking, climbing, kayaking; exploring nature.
003. if i had excess money i would buy a taylor guitar.
004. i once punched a raccoon in the face.
005. for years, i settled for a combustible-black marshmallow on my s'more.
006. one time i witnessed a girl nearly fall into the abyss at hershey's chocolate world.
007. the concher is my *favorite* part of the chocolate factory tour ride.
008. donald miller is one of my top 3 favorite authors.
009. green is the color to which i'm most drawn.
010. i have seen the sun set over cadillac mountain on the down east coast of maine.
011. i have not seen a puffin.
012. this summer i saw two bears, two porcupines, and several doe. and the raccoon.
013. i have only heard, never seen, a pack of coyotes (sneaky buggers).
014. wallace and i aspire to drive route 50 from ocean city to sacramento.
015. this spring i discovered how inexperienced arkansasians are at snow driving.
016. my favorite thing about florida is the abundance of anoles *everywhere*.
017. the only time i flew was to visit 2 friends in chicago in 2005.
018. i worshipped God with homeless folks in a church next door to a crack house.
019. my roommate and i once cleansed the waters of the atlantic in wildwood, nj.
020. i have been to 10 weddings, and was the maid of honor in one of them.
021. i am a founding member of the ice cream challenge.
022. i once licked a cave formation that has been filmed for television.
023. one of the best things about camping can be trying to hang up your bear bag.
024. i enjoy driving a 15 passenger van
025. i hope to travel extensively in the somewhat-near future.

One

2009-01-01T18:50:00.003-05:00

of the points that Donald Miller makes in his book, Through Painted Deserts, is that too often our culture focuses on answering "how" questions, because they're easier and allow us to be selfish and self-sufficient. How questions seek to fulfill personal goals for personal fulfilment. "How can I get a job? How can I make more money?" Why questions actually require some thought and some selflessness. "Why am I here? Why is there pain in the world? Why does color exist?"

Don said he'd ask, "What is beauty?" and receive the answer "Here are 5 steps to a successful marriage". How questions are at surface level, prone to easy answers. Asking why makes us smaller, makes us a part of the story of creation, not the protagonist of it.

So some women's health magazine periodically sends me emails. I received one today with a list of good resolutions to make for this new year. Various general, non-compelling ideas such as to read books recommended to you by former English teachers, to wear more colors for an attempt at a (false) positive attitude, etc. One said the following:

"Stop with the why-ning. "Why?" is a perfectly lovely question coming from a toddler, but not from you. Why am I stuck in this stupid job? Why don't I have a better boyfriend? A better question: "How?" How do I get a better job, a better guy?"

Oh how right Mr. Miller is about our culture and our simple seeking for simple answers. I resolve this year to dig deeper.

Oh, and I'm also going to start flossing.

Sting

2008-12-31T13:25:00.003-05:00

and the Police are playing in concert on our television.

Scrapple gurgles around in my stomach after having felt the uncomfortable gaze of a group of girls whom I value and appreciate. They told me how much they'd love to get together for overnights, retreats, hanging out here and in the woods... and then explained that they never are free to do so.

Sting says "yo" a lot in his lyrics.

Of course, I'm re-reading Donald Miller's Through Painted Deserts and am really wishing it was summer immediately. December has been so stinkin' mild, it feels like spring should come bursting through the trees at any moment. The idea of two and a half months of ice and dry air discourages me and makes me feel as though I should really appreciate this season more anyway.

The working world sort of compells me to wish for a career as a farmer or cattle herder or something else more natural and basic and necessary. My current job is to convince upper middle class ladies that they need spend more money on frivolous items for their homes. Something more necessary and helpful to people might be more satisfying as a vocation. Especially if it were something that involved spending hours outdoors. I miss that aspect of my summer job. I wonder what I'll do this summer. National Park work sounds more and more delicious every day I think about it.

Well now I'm going to get in the car, spend money on gas, spend free money on coffee, and drive down unknown winding state routes to West Chester and my love.

December

2008-12-23T12:56:00.004-05:00

I'm really glad that Phil is taking the opportunity to travel before he gets tied down to a job. He leant me his copy of Through Painted Deserts. I've had time to read the prologue.

December is kind of a negative month. It's filled with stressful adults and children who feel authentic entitlement to greed. I had to figure out a way to switch shifts at work for Christmas eve so I could leave by 4 instead of 6 for West Chester (so I can leave there by 8 or 8:30 to come back here for our big choir gig). That involved finding another person to pick up one of two afternoon shifts. After asking half of the employees at work, St. Amanda agreed to switch from morning to afternoon, so I get to work all day on Friday.

At this point, I'm finishing up with my obligatory late-December gifts. This season makes me wish we were more like hobbits, happy to give voluntary presents to everyone. Hobbits give presents away to the guests at their birthday parties.

Not even at a crossroads

2008-12-02T12:11:00.000-05:00

Hello friends of the internet,

Now that NaNoWriMo is over (as well as No-Shave November, which I haven't personally concluded) I can do other things with the time I don't spend at work or with people. I ended at 50,062-something words, although my novel isn't near finished. I had kind of mapped out a plot in my mind, and would skip ahead to write different parts, bouncing back and forth so I wouldn't tire of a particular part of the story. Maybe I'll complete the story during next November.

Recently I read the first half of The Secret Life of Bees, recommended to me by Christine Barlow two summers back. Last night I began reading The Lord of the Rings, because this weekend a TV channel aired all three movies of the "trilogy" and I felt my brain could use some stimulation from Tolkien's adventures in language. (Writing my own wimpy book, I could see how awfully limited my own vocabulary is right now - which I attribute to only having been required to write about art during the past four years of my life)

Right now, I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing. It's much more difficult to discern the call of God when I don't spend time listening. I read Brennan Manning's The Signature of Jesus, in which he described how to do a "centering prayer". It's meditative, and you do it for about twenty minutes at a time, before breakfast or dinner so your soul can connect with the hunger of your body. My problem is that I need a clean, peaceful space to do it, and my room is not in that condition at the moment. I miss the Christopher House in a time like this, because it had the chapel - small, intimate, quiet. Lined with a few chairs, stocked with diverse musical instruments for worship, and with candles always lit, it really felt like a sacred space where we as individuals or the whole fellowship could come for quiet (or loud!) time with the Lord, because that space was created specifically to meet with Him there.

Soon I'll be starting a youth ministry internship at my church, which I'm pretty ecstatic about. It makes me very glad that God doesn't call the qualified, but qualifies the called. I'll make curriculums for pre-school through senior high, teach, lead events, work on communications (don't I wish I took some graphic design courses?), and learn how to administrate. My pastor and the elder in charge of youth will be mentoring me through the process, so I'm going to ask that they also keep me accountable for my own spiritual growth, challenging me through this season (ooo, Christian vocab word).

Unpaid internships usually need to be paired with part-time jobs, so that's the thing I worry about. Working at Pier 1 has been a lot of fun, I actually enjoy it a lot, but I'm unure how long employment lasts after the buy-stuff-in-December season ends. (don't you hate having to associate Jesus' birthday with giving gifts to everyone but Him?) The career-building/resume-sending/connect-with-employers websites are okay. Without a degree in nursing or engineering, there aren't many jobs available. There are a few positions as postal workers or typists for the state, so perhaps something like that will hold me over. I feel like I just need a short-term job where I can earn some money to save up for a car; and once I have that, I'll have mobility and I'll be independent and I'll have peace about that.

Saturday was a really cool day because I got to hang out with a bunch of people I graduated high school with, whom I hadn't seen in maybe two or three years. It was hard not to feel discouraged, though, because they're all doing real things, having graduated with real majors that led to real jobs. More (?) importantly, they've all got their own places and aren't living with their parents. Of course, some of them received cars from their parents; something I don't have the luxury of, and also something that keeps me immobilized, tied down.

I know I need this transition period, this internship, because I didn't go to school for what I'm called to do - stupid - so I am hoping to put a lot of energy and effort into mentoring and loving on the kids in my church, and learning as much as I can from this experience so I can go do it, serve where I'm called to serve on my own. I'm still on the road toward the point of decision making, and that intersection seems so far off right now.

Fighting a battle against time is stupid. However, I seem to subconciously enjoy doing that. I feel tied down, like I want to start the great adventure of my life, but I have to save up some money before doing that. I have so many friends who are serving in different ministries around the country, around the world, because they had opportunities to jump out into the unknown in faith, following God with reckless abandon. I want that. I'm crushed under the waiting for it. Hopefully I can bear this all for as long as it takes...

2008-11-29T21:48:00.000-05:00

so unmotivated to write, yet i must finish. plot's losing steam.

Hey

2008-11-05T17:34:00.000-05:00

Hey, I just noticed an abundance of litter out in the world in general today. Now that the election's over, all those ugly signs with folks' last names on them don't count for anything. I hope the political advocates take responsibility and pack them away.

Hey, tonight there's a band playing a show at Messiah College. They are called The Psalters. Phil described them as "tribal folk crazy smelly awesome." This is something I'm looking forward to.

Hey, I found out today that Don Miller is making his super-famous book Blue Like Jazz into a movie. It seems they're looking for financial support, because the website advertises that you can become an "associate producer" and get your name in the credits at the end of the film. It's not going to follow the book exactly [since it's really a collection of essays], but it'll be about young Don struggling against his Bible belted childhood and entering into the "most godless campus in America" for higher education. I am excited about this as well.

Hey, I also just read that Jon Acuff landed a book deal for Stuff Christians Like, which I read pretty much on a daily basis. It's not supposed to come out until 2010 [oh-twelve?], but I know I'll be reading it when it's printed. Hey, be a sweetheart and support an aspiring writer by buying a copy. Booty, God, booty

Hey, speaking of aspiring writers, I'm doing this thing - it's called National Novel Writing Month [NaNoWriMo] and Wallace told me about it. You write 50,000 words during the month of November; no editing, just straight creative output. I never really wrote anything before, so I'm discovering that maybe it's not as hard as I'd thought. Using one of those baby name websites, I picked out eccentric, unisex names for all my characters. I do enjoy spending time just spouting out plot and dialogue stuff. I also like that it doesn't matter if the story is good or not, it's just about putting yourself out there and creating story. It won't all be completely fantastic, but I recommend giving it a try.

Let's Make a Weekend of It

2008-10-20T22:21:00.000-04:00

This weekend I went to Kutztown to visit some friends. It involved piercings, spending time with my man, new & old friends, "lunch meat casserole", Man on Fire, a Matt Reffie original sermon, and sushi. Getting away from the midstate for a few days was hugely rejuvenating. My life has been lacking challenges as of late, and it was a breath of fresh air to get away from home.

On Sunday morning Reffie preached on engagement - in particular, Jesus' parable on "the kingdom of heaven is like a bunch of bridesmaids waiting for their friend's groom to show up." Half of them didn't have enough fuel for their torches, so they went to the store to get some and ended up missing the party. Engagement isn't about waiting around for your wedding day, it's about preparing: calling the caterer, making hair appointments, getting facials, working out to look good in your gown [and out of it, afterward]; renting a tux, working hard, saving money, preparing a home for your bride. Jesus told His disciples that He was going to His Father's house to prepare a room for us. He's getting ready for us, His bride. Are we getting ready for Him?

That sermon was refreshingly challenging & convicting. Thanks, Cornerstone.

I spent today resting after a crazy weekend, and in studying the Word, especially in preparation for girls' small group on Wednesday. Our discussion topic is prayer. What would be your input about it?

For your listening pleasure, a beautiful snippet of a John Piper talk:

That was good.

2008-10-14T16:59:00.000-04:00

So, as it turns out, celebrating an anniversary can be pretty incredible. Greg and I had ours on Friday, and he came for the weekend to lavish his affection on me. I had work until 6 on Friday; I'd told him to meet me at home after that, but he decided to show up and surprise me anyway, after giving my sister a ride to work so I could switch the car over to her and he could take me home. A single red rose was on my seat in his car when I got in. When we got home, he snuck inside before me, and let me in to more roses and lit candles on the dinner table, which he set with an amazing meal of salmon, squash, rice, hummus, and olives [all my favorites!] After that, he pulled out a set of 6 straws of different colors, and I got to pick a color, which matched with the following activity for the weekend. First, he gave me some gifts - a book about relationship/communication stuff called His Needs, Her Needs, a bracelet, and a new Bible: exactly the same as my old one, but with a quality leather cover [this means I don't need to re-memorize where to find verses on pages, visually]. Best ever!! Then I got my chance to give him presents, which were a whole buncha photos from our Maine vacation that I had printed and framed, as well as a book and a worship CD. After that, we baked brownies together, and ate ice cream while watching The Never Ending Story. :-D

On Saturday I went to work while Greg drove around looking for photo opportunities. However, there were a lot of people working, so I didn't get to do anything and it was boring. Greg showed up early to pick me up and was sneaking around smelling things and making me nervous 'cause I was talking to customers. Then he took me to get sushi for dinner, we picked up Dan who'd returned from Iowa, and the rest of the evening we cleaned up our mess from Friday night and read together.

The next day, we went to be, um, teacher helpers? for the high school Sunday school class, and then went to church and after that was the first young adult group hangout time - a lunch, outside; it was fun. Helicopters can be distracting while you're eating on the deck, though. That afternoon, I napped while Greg watched a movie, and then after Nan made us dinner we went to see Fireproof, which was amazing and rather better than I'd expected. If you see it, stay for the credits; they're quite amusing.

Well, he left yesterday after taking me to work in the afternoon. Sooo, that was my fantastic weekend. Hoping to go to Kutztown next weekend, to get out of the house and see some school-type friends.

Work was actually really good today, because I had a lot to keep me busy. I'm so task-oriented!! I got to re-label lots of things, do a bunch of returns and some furniture purchases; one lady had Jesse and I taking different paintings and holding them over different tables, so she could figure out what she wanted. She was very kind about it, and we had quite an adventure going up and down ladders and trying to re-hang the canvasses. I do miss working at the Maps Department, though!!

What's going on?

2008-10-07T21:25:00.000-04:00

Things becoming more constant:

earning some money
hanging out with youth group kids
singing
drinking tea [thank you, autumn]
obsessively reading SCL
wondering why the temptation to regret decisions and re-face them again is trying to squeeze into my line of vision
wakening to some strange dreams. hm.

It's time to get excited about sweaters and deliciously comfortable socks. Cool, but not yet slushy cold - fall in PA is a good time.

Working in retail is actually pretty good. When your store is filled with luxury items and your shoppers are pleasant, upper-middle class ladies, people are happy customers. Pier 1 may be the opposite of the DMV. It smells great and makes me want to have a place of my own so I can collect glassware and decorate with incense burners and candlescapes.

Anyways, my rebellious self is grumbling and clunking like the old furnace in the basement of my heart. I should be so content, so joyful, so ecstatic with what God has given me, and yet when I see opportunities to even take a peek at other stuff, it's like I'm camping out in the parking lot at the paper mill, whose odor should make me puke. God's stuff is so much better than any of the crap I'm sniffing.

So He's called me to lead this small group for the girls in my church's youth group. I'm completely inadequate, unprepared, and unqualified to lead them in applicable Bible discussions. Let's see what He does with this...

I want this one

2008-09-07T17:22:00.000-04:00

As a person entering the workforce, one of my first goals is to earn enough money to buy some sort of transportation. I'd been thinking about a Subaru, but now I'm sure.

lately

2008-09-03T12:19:00.000-04:00

So here's what I've been up to:

balanced working and school and got a 4.0 my last semester
graduated from Kutztown University with my BFA
wrote these things on my resume
had a long summer at Krislund [still fighting bitterness about that]
went to Maine with my man and had an incredibly relaxing/fun/wonderful vacation that made up for the hardships of the summer
now living at home, searching for a job so i can be a real person
looking forward to being the maid of honor at [one of] my best friend's wedding in 9 days

At least now I have plenty of time to read. I haven't had that since high school. And I'm trying to be patient about the next 2 years of my life.

it's 2008!

2008-01-08T13:37:00.000-05:00

Hah, this is my college graduation year. Is it a bad thing that I find people asking me, "What's next after college?" to be a mean thing to say?

It's clear that God's given me a heart for kids, but I'm in a season of figuring out what He wants me to do with that.

I think I'll spend this year cultivating a greater passion for Him and greater compassion for His people. I know I was lacking that in '07.

Yet if you devote your heart to Him
and stretch out your hands to Him,
if you put away the sin that is in your hand
and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,
then you will lift up your face without shame;
you will stand firm and without fear.
You will surely forget your trouble,
recalling it only as waters gone by.
Life will be brighter than noonday,
and darkness will become like morning.
You will be secure, because there is hope;
you will look about you and take your rest in safety.
[Job 11:13-18]

Why did everyone get engaged/married in 2007? Does anyone else find the overabundance of weddings [planned or taken place] a little strange?

This semester I'm looking forward to taking only one 'real' class, to having time to spend building relationships with newer friends, to working in the maps department of the library, to expanding my culinary expertise, and to getting the crap out of Kutztown University.

Oh, and LOST comes back on once more... just to torture me...

"Kiss the crap outta that girl, Ted!!"

oh my gosh.

2007-12-17T15:06:00.000-05:00

My dear friend Liz has made an incredible point. We idolize television, movies, entertainment because it enables us to passively waste our time and to not put our hearts out there and love people. Liz told me that she sees television taking away our ability to love, and if we're making it our idol, then that is true.

I know it's true in my own life, because I feel so much more free, more alive in the summers when I'm working at camp, in the woods, no electronic nonsense to interfere with my friendships [which develop so much more deeply and quickly there than anywhere else] or my spiritual growth. Then, I come back to Kutztown and am satisfied [well, not really, just too passive to argue] with spending "quality time" with friends in renting movies and laying around. It's much more difficult in winter, I suppose, when calling up folks for a game of Ultimate Frisbee is less probable due to the weather, but when I think back to how many times this semester I gathered with friends for, say, a board game [2 - RISK at P. Nate's house and Apples to Apples at the Cliffs of Insanity], and then I think of the untold instances of settling for passive, unsociable movie-watching [watching football games on television together can still be a social event] - it just breaks my heart that I myself am not loving these people, not putting myself in situations where I'll actually talk to them and get to know them.

Maybe we just live in a society filled with hardened hearts who have no desire to open up to others and to create real friendships.

I guess what I'm saying is that I wanna turn off the idiot box.

This Break

2007-11-20T22:54:00.000-05:00

This has been quite clearly the most busy and stressful and demanding semester of my life.

I am ecstatic about this five day break from it all, even though I will spend a good chunk of that time revising my history paper, catching up on readings, and putting together my portfolio for my Islamic art class. I also want to be able to catch up with friends a bit, but maybe some 'me time' [and by me I mean JESUS and me] would be more beneficial. The busyness of the past two months has completely drained me spiritually; time for reading God's Word and praying has been snatched out of my sight; and on the way home listening to songs that cry out to Him I could feel wholeness begin to emerge once more. Perhaps I'll spend tomorrow hidden away in my room regaining my ability to worship the Lord.

It's tricky, having to spend soooo much time in the ceramics studio. I do enjoy doing ceramics, but more than 5 hours in the same room can be mind-numbing. I miss being able to play outside all the time like I did in the summer.

The school lifestyle really drags me down physically, too. I get no physical exercise, I become malnourished consuming crappy cafeteria food [since I have no time to go grocery shopping or cook for myself, hah] so spiritually, mentally, physically, I am pretty much in a state of decay.

I know it sounds like I am complaining, but I just want to reiterate my situation before saying again how wonderful this break will be for me. I am so sick of this hardened heart that has developed within me. I'm looking forward to being able to care, to love, and to worship again.

So begins another sub-chapter...

2007-08-28T23:45:00.000-04:00

Crushed fragments of a stoneware mug lie on my desk and remind me of what an incredible summer I had. Today was the first full day of classes in the second-to-last semester for the class of 2008 at Kutztown University. 9 months from now looms the dark cloud of what many call the "real world." And that's something I intend to avoid for as long as possible. So, for now, from August to December of this year, THIS will be known as the "fun semester." What adventures these 4 months hold are yet unknown, and that excites me.

Today I rode a bicycle for the first time in two years. I also joined a friend in eating ridiculously old coffee beans. They tasted like old. They'd been in the same spot since at least my freshman year. Yesterday the 102 girls created the beginnings of our personal menagerie: 2 fish, F. Pauly Shore and Javi Hoff [yes, both partially named after our university's president]
and a golden mystery snail, Toshare. Let me tell you, that snail is wicked awesome!!

Question: does God still use dreams to speak to people, like He did Joseph? Should I be wondering what He's trying to say through the dreams I have been having over the past 6 months?

I've been praying and waiting and waiting and praying for something big. Praying big in expectation of big results. However, the anticipation has been killing me!!! I really hope the Lord allows this change in my life soon, so I can relax about this!

On my plate for the semester: Cornerstone college group leadership stuff, SENIOR ceramics major duties [run. the. shop.], get a job??, spending the most time possible with my very best of friends, culinary adventures - making sandwiches and beyond!

Deliver us

2007-05-18T22:26:00.001-04:00

Who built the pyramids? The Egyptians?

They usually receive the credit, right?

Weren't their Israelite slaves the ones building everything in their empire, while the Egyptians themselves cracked their whips upon the slaves' backs?

The Prince of Egypt opens with the Hebrew's song of lament, "Deliver Us". It wrenches the heart with its cry for mercy and freedom. And we feel a righteous wrath against the oppressors. We are thankful for America's call to emancipation and that we enslave no more.

Or do we? What products are we buying that were sewn together by 8 year old children in a sweatshop? How can we keep ourselves accountable for what we buy?

The Dalit of India have been living in oppression since longer than Christianity has existed. The Hindu religion has set in place a caste system that calls them the "untouchables" - they are regarded as less than animals. Once you are born into that caste, you cannot get out of it. Dalit must beg for water at the well from others, for they are not allowed to touch and "contaminate" it.

When will slavery really end?

What can we do to prevent it from happening now? Is there a way to keep track of what brands oppress their factory workers and what brands don't? I'd hate to pay $100 for a pair of boots and know that $100 was going to some fat, rich, white, American guy than the $100 going to the small girl in Guatemala who sewed them together for me.

I just got a new pair of boots. The company's website has 3 entire mission statements about their efforts to eliminate pollution, to boost the welfare of communities, and to treat all their workers fairly. I don't know if you can look into these things for all companies [I'm sure the bad ones keep their practices very secret], but I'm asking you to look into it if you can. It's good to look out for others, even if there's no chance of you ever meeting them in this life. :-)

2007-05-09T20:45:00.000-04:00

Ugh, I feel like a pond that is small and ancient and stagnant. Somewhat pleasing to look at, but also eerie, and uninviting for naked toes.

I have stagnated my most important relationship within the past two weeks. I've barely talked to him. I haven't listened to him at all. I sang to him last night, a few of us including he had a great conversation for about 20 minutes by the fountain that cascades, but after that I probably ignored everything he said.

Church

2007-05-01T17:27:00.000-04:00

It has been brought to my attention that there are some ecclesiastical issues that must be handled. The church I've been attending for the past 3 years [and have recently joined as an associate member] is one of evangelism. This body of Christ can be quite welcoming and encourages members and regular attendees to invite many, especially nonbelievers. This is good. Jesus said, "Go and make disciples of all nations..." However, what about keeping the ones you've got in the faith?

I have seen, and others feel this way, that our church hooks people in and then leaves them floating around, not being challenged or shepherded properly. A person should not have to ask to be discipled; those more mature in their walk with the Lord should seek out younger Christians to help them along their journeys. A friend told me that he hasn't been to this church in 5 weeks, and no one has called him to ask him where he's been or how he's been. This concerns me.

To expand upon the "Great Commission" at the end of the book of Matthew:

"Go and make disciples of all nations, baptising them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you."

Jesus taught a lot of things. His sermons and teachings make up most of the text in the Gospels. Can a church support its members and its believers without continuing to teach? He asked to make disciples, not just believers.

disciple: n. 1. religion
a. one of the 12 personal followers of Christ.
b. one of the 70 followers sent forth by Christ. Luke 10:1.
c. any other professed follower of Christ in His lifetime.
2. any follower of Christ.
3. a person who is a pupil or an adherent of the doctrines of another.
v. 4. to convert into a disciple.
5. to teach, to train.

If someone is not being taught or trained, and not being a pupil, are we truly making disciples? Converting people is not the same as making disciples, and I feel like this church has strayed from that original concept. If we are not continually growing and developing godly hearts and wisdomy minds, this is an opportunity for wickedness to enter. We must keep each other on track with our faith.

Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold, but he who stands firm to the end will be saved. - Matthew 24:12-13

For one's love to grow cold is an ugly thing. For one to lose zeal for the Lord and for His Word and to become lazy in caring about growing is an ugly thing. I have dealt with times like that myself, and when I drift away, I become physically unhealthy/exhausted, I have a worse work ethic, I am not as confident or friendly with others, and I'm simply less caring. I have seen firsthand the effects of walking away from God and it is simply an ugly thing. Our Father made us to be beautiful just as we are, as lovers and worshippers and as sons and daughters of Him, and if we have the desire to walk away from that, or if we have no desire to seek that, what could it do but break His heart?

We must persist in our faith. We must persevere. We can't let anyone, not Satan, not our own flesh, not the world try to tear us from our loving and perfect Father. We can't let ourselves, our doubts, our anger tear us apart from Him. He loves us too much to let us go. He let His own only begotten Son go in our place.

"For I am convinced that neither life nor death, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39

How can we ignore so great a salvation? It is so wonderful to be loved by God! Therefore we can't just ignore Him or be angry for the petty "bad things" in our lives. We complain because it's raining, because school is hard, because of family problems, because of friendships gone wrong. They are nothing compared to the problems of Ugandan children who fear being abducted every single night to be forced into being child soldiers for a terrible army of rebels who kill civilians and whose actions force the Ugandan governments to put their people into displacement camps without food, or clean water, where malaria kills more people than AIDS. And even in comparison with their troubles, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." [Romans 8:18] When we're with the Lord in heaven some day, we won't even remember our diseases, frustrations and hardships because it will be SO GOOD!!!

This is why I wish the church would focus more on building intimate relationships within the family of God, focus on growing these disciples closer to Him in a more trusting relationship with an eternity focus on life. Paul says best in my favourite book:

In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:4-6

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. - Philippians 1:9-11

I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:12-14

ecclesia reformata semper reformanda secundum verbum Dei

Feelin' down again...

2007-04-30T21:36:00.000-04:00

"We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. For if the message spoken by angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received its just punishment, how shall we escape if we ignore such a great salvation?" - Hebrews 2:1-3

"Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts" - Hebrews 3:7-8

"See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first." - Hebrews 3:12-14

This whole situation is still not getting better. It's affecting my body; I feel a physical weight pushing down on my spine, I feel muscularly weak, and I don't feel like eating at all. And I'm dehydrated.

The weekend, however, was great. Quite a refreshing time to be carefree and adventurous with my dear Wallace. We did a Fountains of UMD tour, trespassed, frolicked [in a special way] through the thunderstorm, and I met some new friends. Saturday was Maryland Day, so campus was v. crowded. We ate Chick fil-A!

That night we slept in cardboard boxes on the Mall by the Washington Monument for Displace Me - a media/awareness event held by Invisible Children [dot com], where they showed us video testimonials of folks in Uganda who are in the displacement camps where the government put them to keep them "safe" from the rebel army. Last year they held a "Global Night Commute" which was basically reenacting what the Ugandan children do every night to avoid being abducted by the rebel army to be made into child soldiers or sex slaves. This year we were made to experience what they deal with in the displacement camps, except we had clean water and no AIDS or malaria. We had a 6-hour fast, and then were only allowed to eat water and saltine crackers. We called people and wrote to congressmen to spread the word in hopes of the U.S. or the U.N. doing something to bring peace to northern Uganda.

The next morning Wallace and I hit up Starbucks before church [how convenient to have one between dorm and campus], which was run by Maryland Christian Fellowship and was cool. We sang a "yee-haw" song.

Directly after lunch we got a call from Horatio, who had come to pick me up. So Wallace and I parted ways again. Hopefully we'll hang out again this summer - when we'll do even more crazy adventure-type things! Whee!!

The drive back with Brandon was good. It didn't even get dark until we got home. We stopped in Philly for supper with Y-von at a place called Brigid's. I got gnocchi in pesto, mm!! It was rather tasty. We also got to see her studio in this church; Ruben Ghenov also works there! How exciting! I hadn't seen Gali since he was a baby; what a cute kid!

I had a somewhat sleepless night, followed by weaving class, geometry quiz, crafts class, geometry class, glazing and then a chat. In some ways, I feel like Paul....

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing.

Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!" [Romans 7:15-25]

Thanks be to God indeed. Jesus will rescue me from this body of death. I want my sinful nature to die. I just hate sin so much I want it to be completely gone from my life; separated as far as the East is from the West. I know that I'm forgiven, I just want to sin no more. I won't be pressured into sinning anymore. It just burns a hole in my gut, like too many of those Warhead candies.

And I'm seeking counsel within friends. Sometimes it's hard for me to ask for help, so if you've got wisdom or advice about certain sorts of things, please just pour it upon me. If I'm not in the weaving studio this week, I'll be at the Chris House [need time in the chapel], or my phone is usually on if I'm not in class.

*le sigh*

And I feel like such a b*t*h for complaining about my stupid life problems when 5 year old kids in Uganda are being abducted from their starving, infected families to be forced to carry a gun that weighs nearly as much as they do. How do you feel about that?

oh, and pardon my french.

Greatness

2007-04-22T18:51:00.000-04:00

How do we rank the level of greatness between one person and the next? What leaders are greater than others? Are inventors ranked by quantity of inventions or by several more impactful ones? I was browsing wikipedia.org [a new favourite pastime of mine] and I ran into two lists. One was the "Greatest American" list, which was compiled in 2005 by the Discovery Channel by taking votes from American viewers. In 1978 the Top 100 "Most Influential Persons" list was published in a book by Michael Hart [b. 1932, NYC].

Here is the beginning of the "Greatest Americans" list:

Ronald Reagan, former President - 24% - named "Greatest American"
Abraham Lincoln, former President - 23.5%
Martin Luther King, Jr., civil rights leader - 19.7% - named "Greatest African American"
George Washington, first President - 17.7%
Benjamin Franklin, Founding Father and scientist - 14.9%
George W. Bush, then President - named "Greatest Living American"
Bill Clinton, former President
Elvis Presley, singer - named "America's Greatest Entertainer"
Oprah Winfrey, talk show host - named "Greatest Woman in American history"
Franklin D. Roosevelt, former President
Billy Graham, evangelist
Thomas Jefferson, former President
Walt Disney, founder of Disney
Albert Einstein, physicist - named "Greatest American Scientist" and "Greatest Jewish American"
Thomas Alva Edison, inventor

Perhaps this list is less biased, as many persons' input formed one cognitive list. However, this would require each individual voter to consider all the nominees and rank them, and then vote on his or her "top American." This list does not prove that Elvis Presley was a greater American than Franklin Roosevelt, just that there are more Elvis fans than FDR enthusiasts. Surely Elvis shaped our culture in the 1950s, but aspects of Roosevelt's New Deal are still in operation today. I think that this list shows not each nominee's "greatness," but the number of Americans who were most affected by that person.

Here are Michael Hart's top 15 "Most Influential Persons":

1	Muhammad	Founder and main prophet of Islam, conquerer of Arabia, political figure
2	Isaac Newton	physicist, theory of universal gravitation, laws of motion, major developments in mathematics, optics, thermodynamics
3	Jesus	central figure of what would become Christianity
4	Buddha	founder of Buddhism
5	Confucius	founder of Confucianism
6	St. Paul	proselytizer of Christianity
7	Ts'ai Lun	inventor of paper
8	Johannes Gutenberg	developed movable type and made great advances in printing
9	Christopher Columbus	explorer, led Europe to the Americas
10	Albert Einstein	physicist, relativity, Einsteinian physics
11	Louis Pasteur	scientist, pasteurization, Germ Theory
12	Galileo Galilei	astronomer, accurately described heliocentric solar system, led way to Newton's work
13	Aristotle	Greek philosopher
14	Euclid	Greek mathematician, Euclidean geometry, author of various influential theories
15	Moses	major prophet of Judaism and leader of Israel

This list is the product of one man's research into the history of the world and into the influence that these persons still have in the world today. And how do we define influence? Is Mohammed ranked higher than Jesus because there are more Moslems in the world than Christians today? Should Confucius be ranked higher because his influence is most clearly seen within the country with the highest population?

Many of these men influenced only one area; should the list be broken into certain spheres of influence? Should we group Jesus, Mohammed, Moses, Confucius, Paul, and Buddha together because of their influence on world spirituality and religion; T'sai Lun and Gutenberg together for their impact on world literature; Newton, Galileo, Euclid, and Einstein together for their help in understanding the world around us?

And can we consider chronology as well? T'sai Lun invented paper; several centuries later Gutenberg invented the printing press. Without paper, there would be no need for print, so whose influence is greater? Galileo's work led to Newton's work which led to Einstein's work - whose was more important?

15th century explorer Vasco da Gama was ranked #86 on this list. Do the Portuguese-speaking people of Brasil consider him more important than everyone else on the list? Have we considered that the men on this list may have differing rates of impact geographically?

It seems that my questions might be answered if I were to read this book [which I will probably do at some time within the next...5 years, so I'll do that and see Mr. Hart's opinions on greatness.

Clearly "greatness" is a very subjective matter when speaking about a person's influence. Does one good deed surpass several others on a scale of "greatness?" Perhaps we should each re-arrange these two lists according to our personal tastes and thoughts on these figures' works. Give me your input.

I will sing of Your lovingkindness and of Your righteousness

2007-04-21T00:21:00.000-04:00

I HAVE FRIENDS AGAIN!!!!

That is to say, I can finally wear my friendship bracelets once more. I'd taken them off as to avoid their destruction in the pottery, but since this was our last week for wet clay, this is no longer a threat to their existence. I delight in them so much, just thinking of the individuals who made them for me. What a task! To choose colours that represent a friend. ♥ Here are the colours my friends chose:

Megeggan: brown, green, white
Ellen Melon: 'camo' colours; and the second one is 2 shades of green & beige & cream in little ICTUS shapes!
Liz: same colours as Meggegan, different pattern, and with a foam fishie!
K. Seiverling: red, light orange, yellow, & flesh tone
Steph Stroup: exact same colour scheme in a different order [gotta love those LT girls]
Alicia: hot pink, purple &amp;amp; blue
BEN-NETT: morphing green [light to dark], red, yellow; with ventilation slits
Kayla: green & pink
The Sauce: grey & butter yellow
Wallace: red, yellow, orange
Charity: orange, yellow, bright green
Harrison: tan & red
These two have sadly not withstood my roughness, so Chair & Harrison, send me a new one!

This excites me to the possibility of aquiring more of these in the summer. I can't wait for the outdoor, loving, person-space-invading, living-with community of the girls at camp.

However, that's not to say that that's not developing here as well. I've loved growing in relationships with the lovely ladies of the Chris House in the past few weeks. I'm glad that I spend time there; it seems as though when I don't get sufficient Bible/prayer/God communication time in the mornings, I can pop in there after class. It's so good to have that pocket of Christian community in the middle of a secular and crazy campus.

Today there was a fire drill in response to a "bomb scare" at RACC that referenced Kutztown. AND some crazy guy was prancing around the NASA base in Houston with a gun. Of course, all this happens 8 years after the Columbine shooting and on Hitler's birthday and on POT DAY as Kathy keeps reminding us... This world is ridiculous. I can't wait for the King to come back and really clean up our mess. At least His creation out in the pure wilderness is still good.

What a nutsy week!

2007-04-19T01:52:00.000-04:00

No, ridiculous is more like it, and only 3 days so far... It's been a week of intense things happening and intense spiritual growth. That growth stems from certain events and from my strengthened commitment to remain in daily and constant communication with God [1 Thess. 5:17].

Monday after Geometry I entered the SUB and caught the news on the televisions and saw semicircles of students whose jaws dropped and whose phones immediately left their pockets and were used to contact VT loved ones and leave the message, "Yo man, I saw your school on the news... let me know if you're okay."

And I called CJ and I texted him, although the busy signal gave me hope that he was answering others' dozens of phone calls [but I still worried about him all day until I found out he was fine]. Stressful flippin' day. What was great was that we'd been carrying on a prayer vigil at the Christopher House [pre-planned], so we dedicated a lot of that time asking for strength, comfort, healing, and salvation. The Lord will bind up those broken hearts [Isaiah 61:1]

Yesterday Brandon and I drove out into the boondocks to Chaney's house. After visiting his home/property I see in him the persona of George Ohr. Maybe I will be the female version of this someday. We spent 5 hours throwing logs into this massive kiln [every 10 minutes] and watching the pyrometer move from 1000 to 1275. Go us. Re-stoking the fire every 10 minutes for 5 days straight is what causes a bit of hallucination from insomnia and aloneness and repetition.

Home Group included Levi's testimony and Jason's "12 Steps to Being a Successful Christian". Following Home Group was a Bible study that led to some big topics and decisions. 2 Peter 1, why-does-everyone-associate-Christianity-with-right-wing-politics-and-vice-versa?, and eventually to standing out on campus as Christians. It seems to me that the KU view of 'what Christians are' is [or was, up until today] that we are polite people who don't use curse words and won't go out to the bar with you on a Friday night. Pretty tame. Pretty lame. The discussion that ensued was about how we wanted to stand out, not for ourselves, but for Christ. We know that doing "little things" and having "good conversations" are baby steps in the right direction, but they are not enough. Conclusively we decided that we had to do something radical, which led to planning a tenative finals-week "giving" event that will really show Christ's love for people - real love, not literature. We want to be radically different and not absorbed into the culture of this generation [Romans 12:2]. We want to have an impact and show that the church [universal, catholic with a little 'c'] truly has a heart that reaches out to all.

Ironically, today was met with a near-riot situation, which made me feel very cool, sort of like student protests during the Vietnam War when people cared about things. Today was the "Day of Silence" for Allies [the campus gay/lesbian group] to show their stance against abuse against "gays". Individuals took a vow of silence - I suppose to indicate that someone else had lost their voice through a hate-crime related death. An anti-violence day, that's good.

A fundamentalist group [not student-led or even local] had decided to visit the campus at the same time. Their agenda was to spread the Gospel by claiming the sinfulness of homosexuality, letting the Allies know that they could be freed from it through Jesus. Truthful. Biblical. However, the signs that said "Jesus or Hell" were rather threatening. True, but ridiculously unloving and putting everyone's hearts and minds on the defence against the Gospel for sure. And of course, information was misconstrued as is was passed on through the rumour mill on campus. "Homosexuality is a sin" posters transformed by verbal passage into "God hates gays". Clearly not what the group was saying. However, if they're going to use signs and shouting into a crowd, the defensive screen in their ears will change what is being said, as will the "telephone" game that lets everyone hear exaggerated stories of what really happened.

Even more worrying about the tendency of rumours is that a friend of mine in Chicago left this message:

Nathan (6:10:05 PM): hey kayfrinters; you weren't involved in the "homosexuality is a sin" and the "repent or perish" nutjob rally at Kutztown, were you?
Nathan (6:15:30 PM): juuust wondering. Heard about it today. Also, yay for CJ being okay.

Nate! How'd you hear about this, eh?

We spoke to one of the group - a young lady, whose heart was truly concerned for the Allies individuals. She spoke her love and Christ's love for them; she sincerely did not want them to go to hell. So at least for her part, it was an act of love indeed, but it was carried out in an incredibly ineffective way.

Since it was the Day of Silence, the Allies would not talk back to the sign-carriers. Rather than shout at them and draw a cursing crowd, I'd have taken the opportunity to really talk to the Allies one-on-one. I've done a vow of silence day myself [for DUI victims] and let me tell you, it gives you a lot more time for listening. Because of this, I'd have pulled aside one or two of the Allies and said, "You know this Jesus guy... He doesn't want you to be damned, He really loves you. For serious." It would have been a great opportunity to share God's love with people who don't know who He is. But now their view of God or of Christians has been turned into one of hate because of the hurt they received from a harsh message given in an impersonal way.

The other half of the fundamentalist group was protesting abortion. I have no idea why they decided to protest abortion during this day. I realise that this group decided to protest homosexuality on a day recognising homosexual individuals who died from hate crimes, but why abortion as well? Strange... Anyway, people were offended that they chose the Day of Silence to protest homosexuality, but clearly that was an intentional decision. Perhaps because the fundamentalist group wanted to prevent people from going to hell, they chose a day that marked when people died? A lot of people believe this was not at all in good taste in consideration of Monday's events at Virginia Tech. It's a sensitive week for everyone.

Everyone gave their opinions on the almost-riot, whether they were there or not. I think if you just 'heard about it', you really don't need to speak on it. That just creates more rumours and distortions on what really happened.

Tonight concluded with a delicious dinner by Ed, a quick meeting with JB to debrief the week, a candlelight vigil service for the Tech victims, and a good long conversation with Ally on some good things. We both agree there needs to be more Christian male leadership, however, our campus is lacking Christian males! And then! We had an explosive time of prayer and fellowship and excitement in the chapel. Vanessa, Kathy, Missy, Elisa and I sang songs of praise to our God, we prayed over VTech and our campus for healing, and we just enjoyed being with each other. The presence of strong and beautiful women who are in love with Jesus is almost an overwhelming comfort. Elisa has such an on-fire heart for spreading the Good News that people can be saved, and we all agree that it must be done in a loving way on a personal level.

And it is so good to come in and be calm at the end of a day of insanity, and worship loudly or quietly and be still and know that He is God. [Psalm 46:10] Even through the storm, He'll carry us through to peace. I'd thought that colleges across the East Coast would turn to the Lord after the tragedy, but now that Kutztown has been "attacked" in a way [the devil putting a wall around students' hearts after today] it will take more time. However, as Elisa said, "every time Satan tries to shut a door, God opens it even more", and Brandon seems to believe that now that soil has been plowed [however treacherously], it's time to plant seeds.

"I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."
[Isaiah 46:4]

Movies

2007-04-11T22:55:00.000-04:00

...from Miranda.

Popcorn or candy?
Popcorn is tasty, but I can always go for those sour radioactive worms.

Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.
Oh, Marie Antoinette, I'd say. There are more that I can't think of at the moment.

You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?
2002 Best Picture Award goes to The Lord of the Rings: the Two Towers from stupid ol' Chicago. Grrrr, I'm still bitter about that one.

Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe. Which will it be?
Hamish Campbell's kilt!

Your favorite film franchise is...
The entire Lord of the Rings franchise... I'll buy those action figures anyday. And the documentation on the making of the films is even as entertaining as the movie itself!

Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?
The 4 Hobbits of the Fellowship, plus Bilbo; I'd feed them breakfast, second breakfast, luncheon, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper.

What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?
Flush it.

Choose a female bodyguard: Matilda Wormwood

What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?
Any scene of a woman in labor. Sheesh.

Your favorite genre (excluding comedy and drama) is?
Old-type war movies are the best, and by old-type I mean anything American Civil War and prior. I like swords.

Least favorite genre: Seabiscuit.

You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power? I would want to direct a movie about my summer camp, to prove that all the movie summer camps are weirdly unreal. Honestly, who makes their campers wear uniforms? Plus, movie bears only come when a kid is tied to a tree or something... bears come every day in real life!

past week

2007-04-09T23:31:00.000-04:00

this is what's up!

"holy week", 2007: they call it "holy" 'cause it's the passover week, the final week of Jesus' ministry leading up to the resurrection. this is what it looked like for Him:

sunday - "triumphal entry" into Jerusalem, riding on a donkey with palm leaves laid before His path. we call this "palm sunday"
monday through wednesday - teaching 'n' preaching 'n' healing!
thursday - feet-washing and dinner and the breaking of bread and pouring of wine in reference to His death with the disciples. "last supper" / "maundy thursday"
friday - arrested in the garden [1-2 am-ish?], tried, flogged, mocked, crucified, died, buried. "good friday"
saturday -
sunday - arisen!! alive! miraculously scaring the daylights out of the women in the garden!

sadly i didn't do much to observe this in my own week. this is what it looked like:

sunday- discipleship sermon at church, baptism. lunch with brandon & the stitt family.
monday- skool
tuesday- class & chillin', home group dinner, 'james' Bible study @ chris house
wednesday- skool; skipped 2 classes to do homework for 1 class during which we played "heads-up 7-up". snuck out of ceramics early. applebee's dinner for elliott's birthday with josh q., tara, bridget, will, amanda, angie, and brandon.
thursday- relax! trip to cabela's resulting in being at triple-a all day for brandon. dinner at the peanut bar in reading for elliott's birthday [cool french waiter!]
friday- sleep in & read! another brandon day, ending with wonderful pizza for dinner.
sunday- church in camp hill. last time we'll hear that organ! brunch, lazy afternoon, big honkin' dinner. penndot traffic on drive back. svu & bed.
today- sleep in late! olive garden lunch & hackmans --> glory revealed cd purchase for me. :-) visit to guitar center [taylors --> drool] and later chuck e. cheese for rusty's birthday with sarah, josh, and mr. alex of the new york giants.

think i'll brush my teeth now.

Things like this should happen every day.

2007-02-19T14:00:00.000-05:00

Blogger is the new Xanga?

2007-02-14T11:25:00.000-05:00

It is snowing furiously right now, and it looks simply stunning. A miracle occured between 6 and 7 this morning when the University chose to cancel classes rather than going with the two-hour delay - a sound decision on their part, I thought, because the way that ice was falling I'd feared our faces would've been torn off completely. Now it is a hard, yet quiet-falling cloud of flakes filling the air across campus. I tried opening our front door, but it wouldn't budge past 3 inches because of the cumulation of ice on the doorstep. So now I'm in pyjamas, sipping water from my Nalgene and sucking on Wilbur Buds.
They're these fascinating little candies that Missy and Allie have been selling to raise money to go to the big English majors' conference in Pittsburgh next month. These two had claimed that Wilbur Buds were better than Hershey Kisses, but I am not so sure of that. They're smaller and denser, and the machine squeezes the chocolate into little moulds that spell out WILBUR around the bottom, rather than kissing the conveyor belt to create the flat-bottomed Hershey's version. Now the dark chocolate Buds are quite tasty, and because of the density of the candy, it lasts a bit longer than a Kiss. However, the milk chocolate Buds have a sort of weird aftertaste that I don't so much care for, so Hershey wins there as well. Again, Kisses are larger, but less dense [I suppose they whip the chocolate more], and I have my loyalties to Hershey since they have provided me with many a free fun-size sample at Chocolate World over the years.
So apart from some relaxation and reading, I might like to go out and enjoy the beautiful weather - provided it doesn't begin sleeting again, of course. Perhaps Father John will open the House today and we can congregate for games and hot drinks and hopefully a decent dinner [if Ed can't make it, do we fend for ourselves?].
I had been thinking how much my brain has been able to rot since college has began. I am slightly jealous of Allie and Missy, being straight English majors, for all they do is read and write and expand their minds and their vocabularies. Although I've enjoyed the Crafts major tract, it hasn't done much to keep my noggin sharp. The only for-school reading I've done in the past 3 years has been textbook selections - mostly of art history. Outside of assignments, most of the reading I've done has been Christian non-fiction, which is certainly wonderful and spiritually challenging and uplifting, but at the same time it is there to challenge the heart and the soul rather than to stretch the brain.
On a good note, I'm beginning to feel as though this is my easiest semester yet. I think it is because for the first time in a long time, I have only two studio classes, which relieves a good deal of stress. However, the two that I have are those for which one may only accomplish any work within the classroom itself: weaving and ceramics. I do dread going to the art building late at night, and I wish my projects were portable so I could work on them in the comfort of my apartment or the Chris House, as I was able to for drawing, painting, and especially non-loom. I do enjoy every single class I am taking [a first]: weaving and ceramics; survey of crafts [sort of a history of crafts, although we're learning chronologically backwards from contemporary to ancient]; European Modernism, yoga, and geometry. Geometry may sound difficult, boring, "ugh oh no not math", etc., but it really is quite a wonderful class. The professor, Anke, is quite amicable. She will give the men in the class a hard time when they are trying to be funny, but she is quite a sweetheart to you if you are a sweetheart to her. She is so very German: a beautiful accent, square-framed glasses, always wearing black. The easiest part of her class is that we only accomplish about two or three constructions per hour class period, because she will go around to each individual to check and correct our work. We also get extra points if we colour things in nicely.
Spring Break planning I think is going well. I am in charge of games, initiatives, and fun activities. The big event we [Jake, Josh, and myself] are planning for is a massive secret for now we are calling "The Time of Interest". I'm quite excited about this. Yesterday Bridget brought in a Valentine card from Grandmom, which I expected would have the usualy $5 bill in it, but this time it was a check for $50! So thus the Lord has provided my $50 deposit for Spring Break. At the moment, I'm working on raising support for the $200 fee. Most of it is the cost of van rental and gas [50 hours+ in a 15 passenger van = buttloads of fuel], since a lot of the food comes from donations of supermarkets in the area. What we're doing on the trip is working at a home for kids called Watersprings Ranch, which is in Texarkana, Arkansas [it's on the border between Arkansas and Texas, just north of Louisiana... hence the name]. The Ranch has several log cabin homes where up to 8 kids stay with a set of house parents [one of whom is our former pastor and his wife]. The children stay at the ranch rather than several foster homes throughout their childhood so they can have a community and parents who love them the entire time growing up. They've been abandoned, abused, neglected, and some have biological parents in jail, which is why the Ranch provides them with a good home and a loving Christ-centred community. Our work for the week is to stain and seal the log cabins, repair fences and other damages that came with the hurricane last fall, and to hang out with the kids and love on 'em a lot. The other aspect of Spring Break is not simply a service-based mission trip, but also a retreat for personal growth and fellowship with other young adult believers from our church. Basically it's an all-around sweeeeeeet time. So I think I shall spend some of today working on support letters and thank-you notes to ask for funding, and more importantly for prayer. It's a long drive, we've never been there before, we don't know what the weather will be like, so we'll need to ask the Lord for safety. We'll want to bond closely with each other and with the kids that we meet, so we'll ask that Jesus open our hearts and minds to love one another as He loves us. I really want this to be one of the most important weeks of our lives: to be impacting others in the name of Christ and sharing His love with all.
Nearer than that is a high-school youth retreat at Krislund, which is supposed to happen next weekend. Tim had emailed me saying that it might not happen because the low numbers of sign-ups, but I'm really hoping that we reach the minimum number of participants, because it will be such a great time! Bridget, Nate, possibly Brandon, and I would be leading NiteFest - about which I'm quite excited, because I had a pretty decent songlist picked out. Tyler would come and be our power-point man, and I guess Tim and Steve would be leading most of the goingson. I hope the current weather doesn't deter folks from signing up; all those snow at camp would be such a fantastic time!! I would think the roads up there would be cleared by that time, anyway.
Well, I feel I've spent enough time on the internet for now. Time to go read [for school, for mind, and for soul], play in the snow, get ahead on my weaving and mould-making, and just enjoy a nice snow day!

Return to the LORD your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. - Joel 2:13

i don't know why i'm here

2006-11-25T22:59:00.000-05:00

just another attempt at procrastinating, i guess.... this time on my painting homework. *oh snap*