Emerging Adulthood.

When does one enter adulthood?

How does one know when the crossover has occurred?

What determines it - a biological or a social change?

One might say we become adult humans at the onset of puberty - which can be a slow process, for some.  Bodies slowly fill out in shapeliness; hair appears in new places; testicles and voices drop.  Some girls feel that womanhood happens when menstruation begins.  If that's true, I can say - this year - that I've been a woman for half of my life.  But I'm not sure that, even now, I feel like a true grown-up.


If it's not a biological change, but a difference in social behavior, adulthood may come in slow.  Girls who begin shaving their legs at a young age gain acceptance among peers in the junior high locker room; leaving awkwardly behind those who haven't enough hair to remove (or whose mothers don't trust them with soap and sharp objects).  Boys are often approved by their peers when they're reputed to be sexually active (whether true or not - rumors tell all).

A theory I've heard is that manhood is passed down from a father to a son; womanhood from mother to daughter.  A parent can approve or disapprove of their child's striving to become older.  Each birthday is met with excitement at the addition of another year.  Now, at last, I'm finally 9!  How can parents watch the years pass so quickly; their kids scrambling to grow up as quickly as possible?  I have heard so many reminiscing about old times when the kids were small and life was simple.  A father can choose to encourage a son in his athletic pursuits, or to tell him he isn't fast enough or strong enough.  A mother can include her girls in meal preparation, exercising, reading, applying makeup; or can allow them to figure things out by themselves, or at school with their friends.

Two centuries ago, folks would teach their kids everything they knew.  Without organized schoolhouses, women would teach their children how to read at home, and they'd all learn to help out with tasks around the farm.  Boys would apprentice under their fathers and join in the family line of work; learning carpentry, how to fish, how to sow and reap - whatever dad did.  Mothers would teach their daughters how to cook, sew, clean and care for others.  At some point, perhaps, a parent would give approval to the amount of knowledge and skills their kids had learned; proving them to be successful adults.  A son felt like a man when his father congratulated him on all the hard work he did this season.

We may be missing this aspect of life; this passing-down of parental wisdom.  Do we leave all learning to schools and adult-making to schoolmates?  Do our peers approve us as people, or our parents?

I have heard people tossing around the term "emerging adulthood."  It signifies that group of North American 20-somethings who've gone to college and returned home, to live with mom and dad.  It is difficult these days to get a post-college job that pays enough for one to live alone.  This generation has been stripped of independence, it seems, by the economy; and we have no problem with returning to a teenage lifestyle (perhaps with a later curfew).

Do the grown-ups see us as kids, still?  Does having a full-time, salaried job make one an adult?  Does owning a house?  Does paying for a car?

Do parents see us as adults, when we're still living at home?

Or does one's fully grown body signify adulthood?

When did you first feel like an adult?