The 6 Myths of Christmas

This season, I assisted my mother-in-law to liberally decorate their home with all things Christmas.  I think she owns about four-hundred different incarnations of Santa Claus.  I'm not even exaggerating.  Trimming the tree (and the rest of the house) has led me to a few observations about some inaccurate facets of Americanized Christmas.

6.  Joseph:  husband of Mary, professional shepherd.

  These two nativity scenes (among many others) portray Joseph holding a shepherd's crook.  While shepherds were present that night in Bethlehem, Joseph himself was a carpenter by trade.

5.  Someone received twelve drummers, eleven pipers, etc. for Christmas, and loved it all so much that she wrote a song about it.
  Actually, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is about spiritual gifts, not material presents.  What would you do with those ten lords leaping around your house, anyway?  Read the full story here.

4.  Angels look like either naked babies or winged ladies in dresses.
  I grew up in a home where we placed an angel on top of our Christmas tree.  It was the most beautiful, delicate doll... that I wasn't allowed to play with (too fragile).  She had long, blonde hair; perfect, porcelain skin; and a shiny, white, satin dress.  I'd cluster the other angel ornaments near the top of the tree - cute, glittery angels.
  However, the angels described in scripture seem more like fiery, dangerous warriors.  In many instances of an angel appearing to people, the angel has to calm them down, saying, "Don't be afraid!"  Apparently, angels are pretty terrifying!  Matthew describes the one guarding Jesus' empty tomb as having an "appearance like lightening."  The cherubim in Genesis 3 guard the entrance to Eden with a flaming sword.  The seraphim in Isaiah 6 have six wings each, and fly around shouting about how holy God is.  Wow.  These heavenly creatures sound a lot more exciting than naked-baby cherubs with chubby, pink cheeks!

3.  The Magi showed up the day Jesus was born.
  Matthew 2:1 - "Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem."  Verse 11 actually says they went into the house to worship Him - so the Magi never actually hung out in the barn with the holy family)  After this, Herod ordered all male children age two and under to be killed.  (Joseph led his family to Egypt to hide out for a while).

2.  Three Wise Men came to visit baby Jesus.
  The Biblical account's inclusion of the Magi's three gifts for the Christ-child has led us to believe that there were three wise men.  Additionally, the well-known carol "We Three Kings" re-enforces this view by its language:  each man brings one gift.  "Born a King on Bethlehem's plain; gold I bring to crown Him again,"  "Frankincense to offer have I," "Myrrh is mine..."
  However, the Biblical story of Christmas and Epiphany doesn't actually give a number of wise men, only the number of gifts.  It could actually have been two men carrying three gifts, or four men, or twenty.

1.  Santa Claus.

  There's been a myth going around, saying that parents are the ones leaving presents under Christmas trees on December 24th.  Isn't that ridiculous?  I personally think it's just absurd to assume parents would be interested in building dozens of toys, wrapping them all perfectly, and stacking them in the living room in the middle of the night.  Don't you agree?  I can't imagine leaving that great a job of gift-giving to anyone but Santa himself.  You can watch this documentary for more information.

  If you have any additional observations about the holidays, I'd love to hear them - please comment!  I hope your Christmas is joyful, and I leave you to enjoy this video (Michael Caine's finest performance):

Twelve Days of Christmas: Part II

Today is December 20th.  We have decorated our Christmas tree!  It is hard to believe that Christmas is only five days away.  Have you been counting down the twelve days of Christmas?

If so, you may have been led astray by television movie marathons and holiday commercialism!

The Twelve Days of Christmas are actually those days following December 25th.  Traditionally, Christmas was celebrated for twelve whole days, leading up to Epiphany (the day the church commemorates the Wise Men's arrival to visit the Christ-child) on January 6th.

Sadly, Christmas - in America - has turned into an entire month of shopping, busyness, decorating, baking, and anticipation... all for just one day!  As soon as Boxing Day rolls around, the Christmas music is cut off the radio stations, decor is boxed up once more, and we head into the boring part of the winter season.

It makes me sad!  Why don't we have twelve days of celebration?  Why not give people a break from work or school for twelve days of family time and relaxation?  Certainly, the birth of God Himself in humblest human form is worth more than one day of celebration per year.

Well, I know the real reason we don't celebrate Christmas for twelve days.  It's because no one would make any extra money off of it.  All the corporations just want everyone to stress out and buy as much as they can in the month leading up to one day of blowout gift-giving and feasting.

I'd rather we feast for twelve days straight.  I'd love it!  Turkeys, hams, prime rib, duck, goose...

...and the cookies!!  THE COOKIES!!!

Anyways...  I challenge myself (and you, dear reader) to consider Christmas a twelve day-long festival, rather than a twenty-four hour holiday.  Contemplate and worship our wonderful Savior, who "though He was in the form of God, did not consider equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men."  (Philippians 2:6-7).  Compare Philippians 2 and Psalm 8, and be blown away by the awesome power AND complete humility of God.  The all-powerful Creator of the entire universe... was born a helpless baby in a barn... to show that He cares for us.

On the other hand... if you prefer the less Jesus-y, more Santa Claus-y side of Christmas... let's live out twelve beautiful days of gratitude, expressing thankfulness and love to our family and friends; as well as giving generously to those around us.  Merry Christmas, friends!

Twelve Days of Christmas: Part I

What in the WORLD am I going to do with these ten lords who are leaping all over the house??  Why, oh why did my husband hire these guys to jump around?  And they expect to be fed, too!  I am going to have to buy a whole 'nother ham and a goose just for Christmas dinner!

Praise the Lord... I am just kidding.

But who in their right mind wrote a song about getting all sorts of crazy gifts during each day of the Christmas Feast?  Okay, animals can make nice gifts, if you're prepared to care for them.  I wouldn't mind receiving all that poultry.  But... people?  People!  Why would you give dancing ladies as a gift?

Plus, don't all these things combined sound a little expensive?

What does the "Twelve Days of Christmas" song really mean?

As it turns out, that famous song, "The Twelve Days of Christmas" is about spiritual gifts, not material presents.  What would you do with twelve drummers, anyway?  Start a marching band with them and the eleven pipers?

The story goes like this:  during the sixteenth century, Roman Catholics were facing persecution in England, so they came up with a cheerful holiday tune to secretly teach their children about the tenants of the faith.  Think about this the next time you sing it:

"On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love" (God) "gave to me"
"Twelve drummers drumming," (the Apostles Creed's points of doctrine)
"Eleven pipers piping," (the eleven faithful disciples of Jesus)
"Ten lords a'leaping," (Ten Commandments)
"Nine ladies dancing," (nine fruits of the Spirit)
"Eight maids a'milking," (the eight Beatitudes Jesus taught)

"Seven swans a'swimming," (the seven gifts of the Spirit)

"Six geese a'laying," (the six days of Creation)

"Five gold rings," (the Torah/Pentateuch)

"Four calling birds," (the four Gospels)

"Three French hens," (the three Persons of the Trinity)

"Two turtle doves," (Old and New Testaments)

"and a partridge" (Jesus) "in a pear tree." (the cross)

Read the full story here.

Next time, in "Twelve Days of Christmas:  Part II,"  we'll discover why there are twelve days of Christmas in the first place... and why we don't celebrate them all anymore.

What to Eat

Currently reading What to Eat by Marion Nestle.  She's a professor of nutrition at NYU.  Cool.

Apparently she's done all sorts of extensive research on what food companies want us to think and buy, who owns food companies, why grocery stores are all laid out the same way, and what goes into genetically modified, organic, conventional, and local foods.

If you've ever been to a grocery store in North America, it probably has either flowers or the bakery section by the entrance [to stimulate appetite by smell], long long aisles of prepackaged foods [to keep you interested while walking along slowly], bright shining bins of produce [waxed over & labelled with various countries & states of nonlocal origin] and all that placed between you and the important stuff [milk, bread, eggs, meats - all located furthest away from the entrances] so that you look at more things they have to offer than you need.

The author states that 70% of grocery store customers create lists before shopping.  10% of shoppers don't buy more than their list includes.

Next time:  Sugar - How invasive it is in our diets.

25x

001. i must eat m&ms in the correct order: blue, green, orange, red, yellow, brown.
002. i thrive on summer activities like hiking, climbing, kayaking; exploring nature.
003. if i had excess money i would buy a taylor guitar.
004. i once punched a raccoon in the face.
005. for years, i settled for a combustible-black marshmallow on my s'more.
006. one time i witnessed a girl nearly fall into the abyss at hershey's chocolate world.
007. the concher is my *favorite* part of the chocolate factory tour ride.
008. donald miller is one of my top 3 favorite authors.
009. green is the color to which i'm most drawn.
010. i have seen the sun set over cadillac mountain on the down east coast of maine.
011. i have not seen a puffin.
012. this summer i saw two bears, two porcupines, and several doe. and the raccoon.
013. i have only heard, never seen, a pack of coyotes (sneaky buggers).
014. wallace and i aspire to drive route 50 from ocean city to sacramento.
015. this spring i discovered how inexperienced arkansasians are at snow driving.
016. my favorite thing about florida is the abundance of anoles *everywhere*.
017. the only time i flew was to visit 2 friends in chicago in 2005.
018. i worshipped God with homeless folks in a church next door to a crack house.
019. my roommate and i once cleansed the waters of the atlantic in wildwood, nj.
020. i have been to 10 weddings, and was the maid of honor in one of them.
021. i am a founding member of the ice cream challenge.
022. i once licked a cave formation that has been filmed for television.
023. one of the best things about camping can be trying to hang up your bear bag.
024. i enjoy driving a 15 passenger van
025. i hope to travel extensively in the somewhat-near future.